The Blindside

So, I saw the movie The Blinside yesterday. I hadn't really ever cared to see it before, but I was laid up sick and it was On Demand, so I figured, "Why not?" I mean, wasn't his an Academy Award Nominee. Didn't Sandra Bullock win Best Actress? How bad could this thing be?

Ugh, what a glorified after school special! I know this movie was based on a true story, but the artistic license here is pretty obvious. This movie contains some of the most offensive overuse of outrageous stereotyping I've ever seen. And as someone who's pretty okay with stereotyping as a whole, that's saying a lot. This film panders to white guilt in a way that makes Crash look wishy-washy in it's messaging.

And hey, Hollywood, if you're going to insist on casting Miss Congeniality in a role where she has to speak in a thick southern accent for two hours, be prepared for me to assume your movie is a some kind of ridiculous family comedy. I kept expecting a Saint Bernard to kick a game winning field goal.

By all means, though, if you love annoying child actors go see The Blindside right now, because they found the most annoying one. Ever. Two thumbs down and Hollywood can eat a dick.

Pretty Funny.

I finally caught an episode of Portlandia the other night. This was part of one of the skits. the whole thing was pretty funny.

Regret Your Life.

Seriously, if you were a student in college right now you'd be balls deep in live dildo shows and Chet Haze performances.



Chet Haze, yo! Your college experience is invalid.

Video Friday

A Ween outtake
A little bitty snack for Blogust

New Career Path?

I've noticed that with the utter lack of creativity in Hollywood that directors tend to use songs that perfectly fit the action on the screen. For instance, in a Vietnam War move you are likely to get a scene with "Run Through the Jungle" playing while soldiers are literally running through the jungle. Or you might have a montage in a rom-com of a person going on a string of bad dates to the tune of "Lookin' for Love." Hell, there's a movie coming out today called Take Me Home Tonight which prominently features Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight" in the ads. So, I've decided it's time to write songs specifically for movies. I've started on a song for use in a heavy firefight:

The guns are blazing hard and fast
Good guys backs against the wall
But here comes the guy you thought was dead
We could win this after all!

Fighting for freedom
Or against a drug cartel
Or maybe against some kidnappers
We’re gonna give ‘em hell

How sick is that?! Now, if anybody is interested in helping me out with some rockin' guitar licks just let me know. I expect this to be highly lucrative, so let's get to work!!!

Time...to Die.

They're remaking Blade Runner. I'm not surprised. They've remade or rebooted every movie I ever loved or are in the process of doing so as we speak. On a certain level, I get it. A lot of times old Sci-Fi gets redone because technology has advanced to the point where people feel they can better tell the original story. They're almost always wrong, but I understand the compulsion to try. But Blade Runner didn't rely much on effects at all. In fact it seemed to shy away from over the top production, opting for the moody and gritty feel that helped to make the movie great. The film could be released as is today and barely look or feel outdated. Nothing you can do with modern effects could improve on the original. No cast would rise above the original's. The story will undoubtedly suffer from some inclusion of modern "sensibilities." Truthfully, though, any artistic motivation to upgrade such a classic is secondary anyway. The only thing that really matters is that it'll have a huge opening weekend. Fuck hollywood.

Big Fat Upate!: Apparently, when the rights were sold it was explicitly for the creation of prequels and/or sequels, but the deal specifically statess there is to be no remake of the original. I feel a little better now.

Required Reading For All Americans

So says the the Secretary of Defense

The Corey Haim Snub

The Academy Awards had a memorium segment and totally left out Corey Haim? What's up with that? Sure Haim turned out to be a total douche but I loved Lost Boys and Lucas and... and... and.. ok, that's it, but still. Those two were definitely worth a second or two in the memorium segment, right?

Friday Funny

This is only funny if you know who Scumbag Steve is, so check out that link first. Then come to find out that it was never his fault, but that the hat made him a scumbag!

A Mixed Bag

Here


"So far, Iraqis have held some small-scale protests around the country - occasionally punctuated by violent clashes between security and demonstrators - demanding better public services, more assistance for widows and orphans and greater protection for human rights. But unlike protests in the wider Middle East, they have generally not called for a complete change in government. Iraq is one of the few countries in the region where officials are democratically elected."

Tom Hanks' Kid is Legit, Yo!

To all my homies. Chet Haze be poppin' fuh realz!

And yeah, that seems to be a real actual thing.

Libya’s Legacy

Why the overthrow of Qaddafi might matter more than the events in Egypt and Tunisia.

Candygram!

If this isn't real I will kill myself.

What Can I Say?

I have a raging super boner for this film that forces me to post every new trailer that comes out for it.



I may actually camp out...pantsless.

Stop Shaving, You Don't Have a Beard!

The Two-Party Debate

Between Arriana Huffington/David Brooks and Zev Chafets/Peter O'Rourke
I hear Huffington's team got their clock cleaned

THE TWO-PARTY SYSTEM IS MAKING AMERICA UNGOVERNABLE (iq2us.org) from Intelligence Squared US on Vimeo.

That's Some Good Judging

Just wow.

Okay, I'm Interested

So, I've never been really big on Thor as a comic book superhero, but I have to admit I'm kind of intrigued with the upcoming Thor film and his susequent addition to the forthcoming Avengers films. Because, you know, I'm a big geek. Check out the new trailer for giant fiery knight bad guy action.



Now, throw in the Midgard Serpent straight Dieties & Demigods style and we are go.

The Lara Logan Story

As seen by this woman over at BIGPEACE.
Sadly her piece slides into desrcibing the bravery of journalists, the differences between victims and the misogyny of Egypt and less on what the EFF happened and what does this all mean for the future of Egypt and how will our government respond if these people get any further out of control. Which is what I was hoping she would talk about. She does tell us however, that Logan was brutalized for up to 30 minutes while people were yelling "Jew, Jew, Jew!" and the media has been virtually quiet about it all. That tells me one thing, when the middle east burns further and slaughters more, our media and our government will ignore it... for a little bit longer.

Oppression

Only white people can be racist and apparently now only Christians can religiously discriminate. The saddest thing here is how many people will read that definition of religious discrimination and see nothing wrong with it. At least they recognized that there is actually a dominant culture in America.