PETA, in it's ongoing crusade against the intolerable bloodthirsty tyrant known as the late Colonel Sanders, has brought powerhouse celebrity spokesperson Pamela Anderson into the fray. She's in the process of trying to get Kentucky Gov. Ernie Fletcher to remove a bust of Sanders from the state capitol. Now, the Colonel's grievous acts are well documented to be certain. One can not overlook his frequent golf outings with Hitler in the early 20th century, or the time he punched Mother Teresa in the face for not being Catholic enough. But let's not let those things take away from what's important. When people said, "Colonel, eleven herbs and spices is way too many! There is no way you can fit that many into one chicken. It would take, like, a caulking gun or something," did the Colonel give up? No, he perservered with good old fashioned American grit and determination, and came up with a recipe for the most succulent tortured animal products known to this day.
Seriously, though, PETA just can't seem to help themselves when it comes to jumping on any cause with animals even remotely involved. I don't think I'm wrong when I say that the average person, no matter the politcal lean, can rally behind some of the causes PETA backs. I mean, who watches baby Harp Seals getting clubbed and goes, "That seems like good clean fun?" Over fishing the oceans for shark fin soup? That sucks. Horse f***ing?! Well, that's just wrong. But then they turn around and call fishing murder, and you can't help but realize what kind of whack jobs you're dealing with here. Your credibility goes up in smoke when you compare chicken farmers to the Nazis.
Fortunately, the powers that be in Kentucky are aware that nobody but celebrities like Pamela Anderson and PETA themselves actually take PETA seriously, and that it is perfectly kosher to make fun of PETA when they attack you. This is apparent in the following excerpt from a CNN article about the conflict:
A spokeswoman for KFC told CNN that the letter is "just another misguided publicity stunt by PETA in their attempt to create a vegan society."
When I read that I imagine eye rolling and generous helping of irony, and that makes me laugh. I almost laughed as much as when I read about the Japanes whaler that finally got so fed up with PETA they just decided to finally take a shot with the old harpoon gun. They missed, but you have to give them an "A" for effort. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully opposed to whaling, but I like to imagine the Colonel on the bow of that whaler, shaking his fist and screaming, "Shove that up your ass, right along with your vegan society!"
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