Thursday, August 25, 2011

Thursday, August 11, 2011

My Birthday's Comin'



Just sayin'. Only $450. And there's a matching beany!

Shoot It in the Head

Okay, so I've gone on record here as saying I was thrilled that Frank Darabont got axed from AMC's The Walking Dead and that I felt it could only help the series. Now I'm not so sure, as he is being replace by the show runner for the Starz Channel's TV adaptation of one of the most contrived, politically-correct-gone-mad cinematic "achievements" of our time, Crash. That's right, not only will there be vatos with hearts of gold and neo-nazi rednecks, most likely even the zombies will be misunderstood in the upcoming season. Terrifying. They'd be better off letting that hack George Romero take over the show.

And speaking of Crash, if you really want to be disgusted with the state of the world, go look at the top 5 netflix rentals and keep in mind that Crash was #1 forever before finally getting knocked off by the horrible bullshit that sits atop the standings now. And yep, there's the Departed at 5. Apologies if you liked that movie, but with all due respect, that thing sucks. Hey Einstein! The mole in your crew? It's the cop! Hope I didn't ruin that for anybody.*

*If you are a Facebook friend of mine and you were paying attention, you may have seen me post that about The Departed yesterday and take it down like 5 minutes later. I realized I was kind of trolling and I try to only do that about the Chargers over there. Here I'll troll on anything. Queens of the Stone Age sucks.

You Win This Round, Paltrow.

So, I just read a blog post where they made fun of Gwyneth Paltrow's things she can't live without, and while I love bagging on Paltrow and the list is terribly pretentious, this particular item rules.



That's not the exact one she had on there, but you get the point. Now go check out the rest of the list at the link above.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

In my Opinion...

...if you can't figure out that you need to write in the candidate's name and fill in the bubble, then you probably don't deserve to be counted. I mean, the instructions are written right on the ballot in plain ENGLISH. Oh wait. But whatever, at least Donna Frye is not our Mayor right now. Too bad it's Jerry Sanders, though. I'm glad Jerry Brown took the time to take care of this. I sure was wrong about that guy.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Damn Hipsters!, say Hipsters

Apparently relocated ex-Portland hipsters are not amused with fake New York hipsterism. They all look like idiots to me.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

More Walking Dead

Frank Darabont appears to be leaving the show, and I could not be happier. This guy subscribes to the Stephen King school of societal awareness. Christian Fundamentalists? Bad. George Bush? Evil. Minorities? Hearts of gold! Good riddance.

Of course, there is no chance the next guy will be any better.

Friday, July 22, 2011

I Don't Know

I don't have high hopes for season 2. This just doesn't look any more interesting than the last season to me.



Hiding from zombies under cars? How is that supposed to keep them from smelling your braaaaaains?!

No Wait, THIS is a Friday Video!

Wow.

So, a neighbor calls in a report of a black man kicking down the door to the house next door. The cops show up, break into the house and, thinking he is the assailant, attempt to arrest the owner of the home who is hispanic, does not speak english and is apparently of less than average IQ. He locks himself in the bathroom and is ultimately subdued with mace and force. The state decides to try him for resisting arrest in his own home and the jury finds him guilty. Presumably they had no choice but to find him guilty because along with the verdict they enclose a note to the judge saying that they felt the man was wronged and they would like the judge to consider this in sentencing. The judge then throws the man in jail for a month and fines him while saying that he would have done worse if the jury wasn't such a bunch of softies. Does this seem like justice to you?

This is a Friday Video, People.

Happy Video Friday

I watched this video purely for informational purposes about a possible return of mass layoffs (Cisco just layed off a bunch of people, and Cisco is local), but the discussion quickly turns from unemployment numbers to how stupid Washington is. Pretty entertaining.



Original url is here.

OK, I have a new hero. Here's another one:

Thursday, July 21, 2011

My New Favorite Thing on the Internet

People interpreting The Onion articles as fact? Mmm, that sounds delicious. I'll have that.

I Weep for Us All



I blame Paris Hilton. And she'd probably be happy to hear that somebody acknowledged her at all

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Interesting.

George C. Scott appears to agree with me that Adam Sandler's new movie looks terrible.



But Robert Deniro loves it!



Now I don't know what to think.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

This Is Well Worth The Time To Watch

Pretty interesting stuff.

This is Amazing.

Says sooo much about the world we live in.

Oh, Brother

Here's Hollywood's new shit-your-pants we're-all-gonna-die thrill ride.



The upside is that it appears from the trailer that Gwyneth Paltrow's character dies, which might be worth the price of admission alone. The bad news is that I'll be wading through piles of paper towels every time I enter and exit the restrooms at my work for the foreseeable future. I'll watch this, though, because I love a good apocalypse film. The reason? If everybody dies, that's an awful lot of comeuppance for a-holes.

The Onion Nails It.

Succinct.

Sunday, July 03, 2011

Herman Cain?

He probably wont win, but he is a great voice and I love his staightforward responses.
Here

Oh My God! Best Political Interview Ever!

I am trying to get away from linking to Hotair links because it seems that all of us already read Hotair and well, we all already read Hotair, so why link to a link that we have all read.
but this was too good to pass up and I needed to highlight it.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Happy Hump Day!!!

Enjoy this mish mash of punk rock on your Wednesday.

Garotzuva a.k.a Moby Dick

Al Gore a.k.a Captain Ahab
"If his chest had been a cannon, he would have shot his heart upon it."

Good Stuff

San Diego Democratic Party Leader threatens to pull support for local Dems who support Republican candidates for Mayor. It's funny mostly because there are no real Republicans in San Diego.

Hey Blogust!

More irrefutable proof that aliens exist!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Destined For Failure?

I find it hard to believe that Glenn Beck is leaving Fox to run a web only streaming site. I mean really? $50 a year to listen to what used to be "free". I don't see this working out.

He's going to go from being on the #1 cable news channel to something that will have less impact than public television.

Bad Move.

More here: http://www.gbtv.com/

Michale Graves Punk Rock Boxset

Here is a playlist of all my favorite Michale Graves songs. Enjoy!

Friday, June 24, 2011

So, here's an article that plays fast and loose with the facts in favor of controlling the narrative. What's new? Basically, the article states that white babies are no longer the majority of the child population under the age of 2. Minority or mixed race babies now make up more than half of that demographic.

My first, most obvious problem is that white babies are absolutely still the majority. Hispanic, Asian and Black babies are not all part of one big baby conglomerate. They are Hispanic or Asian or Black. End of story. This is such a common way of looking at things from a political point of view where you are white or you are not, and I think it does nothing but further the divide because...

Secondly, the entire tone of the article appears to be, "Look out White America, it's time to change the way you do business!" Of course, this is how small interest groups manufacture fake power in America today. They ally themselves with other disenfranchised minorities, no matter whether their interests intersect or not, to make themselves appear stronger. The old adage goes that the enemy of my enemy is my friend and that may be true, but when all is said and done that friendship lasts only as long as the enemy remains. What then? The real truth is that there are no enemies here, or at least there shouldn't be. In the end, we must all learn to coexist, and propagandist articles like this only make that more difficult.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Bring on the Sexy Stews, Yeah Baby!

Defective cockpit microphone leads to shocking discovery: Behind closed doors people are not always as tolerant as they are told to be! Somebody is going to get a huge government grant to research this.

Send Him Packing!

Here's a Pulitzer Prize (insert dismissive wanking motion here) winning journalist who admits to being an undocumented illegal immigrant, and I'm pretty sure that what the media wants us to believe is that these are precisely the people the damn Tea Party would like to keep out of our country. Of course, this cat came over with his family using forged documentation, which leads me to believe they were a little better off to begin with than the folks running across the desert or hiding themselves under the dashboard of a Datsun pick-up, but yeah, let's just open the gates because otherwise who's going to knock our socks off with campus shooting coverage?

If It'll Keep Them Off My Lawn...

...then I'm all for it. This article is far too long to actually read, but the gist is that some community in Minnesota wants to install a device that emits an annoying noise that can only be heard by teenagers in order to keep them from vandalizing the local park at night. The money line in the article is undoubtedly when one of the people who opposes the idea and who obviously does not live within sight of the actual park in question says,

"Teenagers are not pests to be repelled."

Now, as a teenager I would have found this device to be the height of discrimination and my moral outrage meter would have exploded off the charts. As a full grown hippocrite, however, I couldn't disagree more. Teenagers are the worst. I intend to cut off all communication with my brother's kids whence they become teens, and if I ever have children of my own they will most assuredly find themselves in a boarding school between stints of summer camp sooner rather than later.

However, I am aware that there is always due controversy when one begins to squat on the rights of anyone-even if those oppressed are not fully formed or contributing members of society-so it is my opinion that we should not punish too harshly the teen who has the balls to take it upon himself to destroy the transmitter the first chance he gets. Although, if he's wearing a Che t-shirt at the time I say they throw the book at him. Responsible choices youth of today. Responsible choices!

Here Come the Atheists!

New York atheists are calling for the removal of a street sign dedicated to seven firefighters who lost their lives on 9/11. The sign says "Seven in Heaven Way," and of course here comes the old "church and state" outrage. A couple of my favorite parts of the article:

Bronstein told Fox News Radio that his organization was especially concerned with the use of the word “heaven.” “We’ve concluded as atheists there is no heaven and there’s no hell,” he said.

That just stirkes me as one of the more smug statments I've ever heard. Why not, "Our years of thinking about it have led us to the clear conclusion that we are right and they are wrong. How can you deny this?"

And check this out:

City leaders seemed dumbfounded by the atheists’ outrage because no one complained about the sign as it was going through a public approval process. “It’s unfortunate that they didn’t raise this as an issue while it was undergoing its public review either at the community board level or when it came before the City Council on their public agenda,” said Craig Hammerman, the district manager for Brooklyn Community Board 6.

Yes it is indeed unfortunate that the atheists didn't come forward during the approval process. And you know what else? It's downright fishy. It's almost as though they figured they could drum up more support for their bitter cause if they pretended that the city has sneaked this in under their noses.

Makes me miss the days when atheists would merely shake their heads and chuckle at when people discussed religion. My guess is that too many lawyers have adapted the non-faith because otherwise they'd have to come to terms with the idea that they may have to answer for their choices in life. And once you have the lawyers on your side, well...

Sure, Al.

Al Gore wants to educate women and girls so that they may choose to have smaller families with children spaced adequately apart, which does not at all sound like the first precarious step on the slipperiest slope imaginable. And the reason we should start on the path towards legislating childbirth? Why none other than Global Warming. Come on, it's Al, so I know you're not surprised. Dude's going to save us all.

Friday, June 17, 2011

For Cryin' Out Loud!

Geez, Japan, what the hell is wrong with you? And the people of Portland are worried about a little bit of pee in their water? We need a happy medium here.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Like Christ?

Try getting crucified then, because that's what they're going to do to David Tyree after this. And he beat the Patriots in the Superbowl? Might have to get a jersey.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Well Now...

I'm sure most of you have already heard Obama's comments that ATM machines are taking jobs from hard working Americans. Well, here's what one ATM manufacturer had to say. They site the fact that Americans want easy access to their money at all hours of the day and night. Well, I'm going to have to go ahead and side with The One on this. Can you inmagine how many jobs would be created if banks were to stay open all night to meet customer demands?* Of course, then there's the problem of the electricity lighting banks all night would use.

*I hope I didn't need to use the Burnt Umber Sarcasm Indicator on that line.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Love It.

I'm not really a big Jesus guy, but I still want to buy this girl a puppy or something. This is my favorite part of the article:

Was Shannon Spaulding exercising her right to free speech? Or did her valedictory address violate the civil rights of others?

Seriously, does the term "civil rights" even have an actual meaning anymore? The law seems to interpret one's civil rights as the right to not be annoyed or offended at any time. At this point it would be easier to examine what is not a civil rights violation.

(Honestly, I was going to list some things that wouldn't offend anyone, but I can't think of a single one.)

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Two Posts I Liked From Gateway Pundit

The first is about Obama's recent meeting with Netanyahu. According to analysts, those two hate one another.





And the second post has to do with the picture above. It's a new toy collection that has the caption bellow for it's description.




Viva la Revolución! So maybe you can't take up arms and join the resistance
right now. In the meantime, keeping these guys handy will remind you of your
revolutionary roots and let everyone else know that you don't roll with
The Man.



What The Fuck? Those guys ARE! "The Man." By definition Lenin and Mao are The Man. Do I need to explain why?




(on a side note, I find it interesting that Gandhi was put in there and no Martin Luther King. Instead we have Malcolm X. Most people I know who love Gandhi also love MLK because of their strong stance on non-violence. Why a gun toting muslim convert instead? Has MLK become too Christian? For that matter, why is Gandhi in there at all? Surrounded by murderers! Clearly anyone who buys this toy isn't opposed to violent men. Why not Marx himself?)

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Not Good


Admittedly I am impressed with how he answered the question honestly, but apart of me really wishes he took the 5th on this one.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Paul Revere Embarrassment?

I think someone down below said that Palin's remarks regarding Paul Revere were an embarrassment.

Historians Agree With Palin

New Red Fang Video

From the guys who brought you that great LARPing video

Thanks to Ryan in China who orignally tuned me into this band

Monday, June 06, 2011

Oh, The Onion...

Will you marry me?

Positive Review Of Undefeated At Huff-Po?

Give it a read
Quick Thought: While their might have been sexism thrown at Clinton (I'm not so sure by whom or in what context), their was definately sexism towards Palin. Oddly enough it wasn't men who were sexist towards Palin, but in fact other women. Don't believe me? all you have to do is watch The View and you will see.

Sarah Palin On Fox News Sunday

I think this is the strongest outing Palin has had in awhile. And in light of her latest Paul Revere embarrassment ( which she touches on in this video )this interview helps her supporters to stand up for her.

Nice Hat, Blogust.

I finally appreciate America's Funnyman.

Irony

Apparently, Al Gore's greatest invention is a major contributor to Global Warming. Shame on you, Al.

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Hollywood Propaganda

So, I've had a couple of people send me links to articles about the recently released book Hollywood Propaganda. Also, it is all over Hot Air right now as well with actual clips from Hollywood Insiders admitting the liberal bias in their work. Now, sure I plan on picking this book up at some time and checking it out, but I can honestly say I have no idea why. Seriously, is any of this shocking to anybody? If you are blown away by the idea that Hollywood has been rewriting social agenda for years then I am blown away by the fact that you haven't accidentally walked into oncoming traffic because you are a retard. Oops! Did I say retard? NBA better make a commercial about it.



Where was Kobe in that ad?

Beer Scam??

Looks convincing to me.

Pretty Funny

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Country Music and Black People??

Wait, I'm so confused. This video goes against so many stereotypes I'm supposed to believe!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Christians Are Number One Problem In The World..

...at least that is what this video implies.

It's clear that these rapture people do a lot of harm to other people of faith's message. Nevermind that people who say they are a person of faith say they are happier, that their relationships are healthier or that religious charities are very successful. These rapturists reinforce the notion that religion is harmful and designed for sheeple. I think it's a shame and I wish these rapture believing idiots would shut up.

Gene Simmons On Obama And Israel

It's hard to take what he saying seriously since he voted for the guy, but he is making sense in this video.











Friday, May 20, 2011

Gas Prices



I just saw this old photo. You know, if every gas station would just be this honest and show this price breakdown at the pump, then it would surely benefit the argument against big government. Strange that gas stations don't do this.

Same thing with cigarette prices.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Is That So, Dr. Smartypants?

I'm not going to say that I agree with this article, I'm just going to say, "Uh duh." Seriously, though, I'd like to buy this man the biggest megaphone on the market and a soap 'crate' to get up on.

Is Danzig A Conservative?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Michale Graves



I'm starting to really become a fan of this guy Michale Graves. Yeah, I know he's no Danzig. And out of the two records he did with The Misfits maybe four songs were any good. I also know that all his other projects since starting The Misfits in '96 have been really hit and miss, but then again everything Danzig has done since '96 have all been misses, so at least Graves has that over him.


Mostly it's this guys story which is helping me become a fan of his. In the early 2000's he co-founded ConservativePunk.com. A site I've linked to quit a bit in the past, but appears to be temporarily down. Graves later joined the marines to help fight the war on terror, but received an honorable discharge after hurting his back. Graves then went on to write songs using lyrics from Demian Echols of the west memphis 3. A case I find particularly fascinating. Now he is touring with Marky Ramone in their band "Blitzkrieg" and later this year maybe touring with The Misfits again, which I am now willing to see without Danzig.

Anyway, I have some links of some of his songs that I like. Maybe you will too.


Saturday Night one of the few Misfits songs I like with Graves.

We Wait one of the songs Graves did after leaving the Marines and going solo in the music scene

Frost Bite lyrics by Demian Echols sung by Graves

Graves is also Christian and writes songs about his faith. Here is one with Blitzkrieg When We Were Angels

Gas Price Media Spin

We here all know the game. This just helps reinforce what we know.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Blogger Was Down Yesterday

And now it looks like all May 12th posts have been deleted. Good I was sick of staring at that lame Charlie and the Chocolate Blog! Tim Burton sucks!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Hmmmmmm

An interesting post about waterboarding by John McCain
What I find odd is that everyone has been focusing so much on whether or not KSM gave the couriers name that they forget KSM also gave quite a few other names as well. Didn't those names obtained lead to others being captured?

Conan Remake

So, there's a Conan the Barbarian remake coming out later this year and here's the trailer:



Now, I don't want to start another Charlie and the Chocolate Factory situation here, but this new one looks about 1,000 times better than the crappy original. I think we can all agree that the Arnie version was a big sack of shit, am I right?!

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

This is Pretty Good.


Obama Befriends Rich Elderly Widow In Hopes She'll Put Nation In Her Will

The Walking Dead

While trying to find information on the second season of The Walking Dead I came across this little snippet on Wikipedia:

On August 31, 2010, Darabont reported that The Walking Dead had been picked up for a second season, with production to begin in February 2011. On November 8, 2010, AMC confirmed that there would be a second season consisting of 13 episodes. He would also like to include some of the "environmental elements" that take place during Volume 2 of Kirkman's book.

Now, maybe my memory is failing me here, but I don't remember there being a lot of focus on environmental issues in the early stages of the books. That may come in later on (I'm only 48 issues in), but if those things came up in Volume 2, I don't remember them. Again, there may have been mention, but environmental issue were not the focal point of the narrative. Just more reason to believe this series cannot save itself.

Monday, May 02, 2011

Obama and Seth Myers Goofing On Trump.

You know how everyone is like "Oh dude, Obama totally got Trump at that press dinner!"

Well, I think about it kind of like a Silver Surfer comic. Usually Silver Surfer (the 2nd most powerful character in the Marvel universe) and Galactus (the most powerful character in the Marvel univers) just ignore humans. There's nothing humans can do to them. Their power is so grand, and what they think about is so beyond man, that humans are rarely a thought.

Its only once a human gets their attention that a human's worth is proved, and at that point you should start crapping your pants.

Just like Sarah Palin, the powers that be have judged Trump to be imporant enough to start attacking him. I'd wear it like a badge of pride if I was him. I'm sure he does.

And, like Trump says, Obama never bothered with the birth certificate until Trump started making noise about it. This just helps prove that Trump gets stuff done.

I hope he stays in the race and mixes it up, just for the sake of entertainment.

Sounds Like Something Jesus Would Say

This quote below has been circulating amongst my liberal facebook friends.

‎"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" - Martin Luther King, Jr

I don't know if any of these facebook friends are christian, but I know for sure one of them is not. Doesn't this quote sound like scripture? Don't my liberal friends know they sound like religious zealots when they write a quote like this in light of what has happened? I wrote to one of my goofy friends "It is not OBL's death I celebrate, but Praxidike herself" who is the Goddess of exacting justice. Even if we are the most powerful country and the most "progressive" we still have a right to be happy when justice is served. CELEBRATE!

If You Haven't Read The Details Of OBL's Death

Go Here

I Would Love To Hear Your Thoughts On OBL's Death

I have to admit that I am a little annoyed that with all the Facebook posts about it, which I can't figure out why it bugs me and I do wish that OBL was taken out during the Bush years, but all in all it's a great day knowing he ate it. The pictures of his remains are pretty awesome.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Happy Friday!

Here's a German video on how to hide your boner.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Oh San Francisco!

You make it too easy.

Oh Britain!

You make it too easy.

Unpopular Stance

So, I came across this in an article about things that customers do that airline employees hate [Waah!]:

Get Off the Phone
This is a common complaint in most retail industries, but it bears repeating here: It's rude to talk on the phone while interacting with the person behind the counter. And when you're at the airport checking your bags, it slows things down for everyone, says Mary Ann DeVita Goddard, a former customer service representative for Continental Airlines.
"Passengers would walk up, stand in front of you, continue their conversation, and expect you to know where they were going and how many bags they were checking," she recounts.
Respect the people behind the counter enough to put your phone away when you're speaking with them. And if not for their sake, do it for the people behind you who are delayed by your chatty ways.


Okay, so I know this isn't likely to go over well, but as far as I'm concerned customer service workers who complain about this can go and get fucked. Do you have the right to expect to be engaged? Sure. But guess what? You are getting a paycheck to deal with the inconvenience when it doesn't work out that way, and I-the guy on the phone-am the one whose business pays for your wage. You are not doing me a favor. You are doing your job. As a paying customer, I reserve the right to tell you to go to Hell.

Now, I firmly believe that common courtesy dictates that you engage the person you're doing the transaction with, but you can't force people to be polite. Especially in the travel industry, where most workers are total fuckheads anyway. And by that I mean, I've never had anybody in the travel industry go out of their way to make me happy, but I've had several who went out of their way to make me miserable.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Need More Info

San Diego gets an 'F' in air quality. Sounds pretty terrible, but wouldn't you know the article doesn't mention whether anyone actually gets a passing grade or not. This sounds to me like one of those environmental measures that no one can possibly live up to, but you can never expect today's journalists to actually provide sufficient data. Show me the whole list, please.

Who is John Galt?

We may never know, as the producer of Atlas Shrugged is having second thoughts about going ahead and making parts 2 and 3. He blames the critics for dumping all over the film, and while I agree that critical appraisal has been slanted heavily against the messaging of the movie, I find it hard to disagree that from a purely theatrical standpoint Atlas Shrugged Part Uno is kind of a piece of shit. Bummer, though. I'd still pay for my tickets to see it play out.

Sorry, Blogust

*frowny face*

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Food Insecurity?

I don't want to sound insensitive or anything, but is this article even in English? 'Food insecurity' sounds like an eating disorder. Are they trying to protect the feelings of people who shop at Food 4 Less or clip coupons? I'm so confused.


Monday, April 25, 2011

Happy Monday!

Here's a fun article. Some of the conclusions are absolutely mind boggling, but it's nice to know that the occasional Supreme Court Justice occasionally displays at least a modicum of common sense and even some semblance of a sense of humor.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Check This Out!

Rearden Metal?

Is That Snoop?

How can something be this terrifying and this hilarious at the same time?



They need a video. With bitches in it.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Oh, Brother-I Mean...Sister?

I just don't know what to think about this at all. Life was so much easier back when I trusted people like doctors to just be doing the right thing. I can't tell when they are anymore.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

So...

...I don't think it's overstating the issue to say that I need this.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Thaddeus Strikes Again

And I can't appreciate a guy in his office with a guitar any more than this.

Heck, I have 4 guitars in my office.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Interesting



How did I not remember that Thundarr the Barbarian took place after we all died in the apocalypse of 1994? That's some dark shit. They will no doubt make a movie soon, but that comet will probably get a Garotsuva makeover.

I Just Don't Know

Will Ferrell in a film done almost entirely in Spanish which seems to ape telenovellas? I'm intrigued. In my opinion, Ferrell whiffs about 9 out of 10 times when playing the lead in movies, but that 10th time is Anchorman and it's genius cannot be denied.



I may have to check it out just for those bad ass special effects.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

I Gotta Tell You...

...I kind of like this guy more than Christie. He doesn't try to be a rock star. He doesn't try to overwhelm people in Town Hall discussions to make applause worthy Youtube clips. He does the work. He presents the work. He defends the work.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Footloose Remake!

This is a very long joke, but it's pretty good. Update: I'm sorry, I was wrong. this is not pretty good, it's awesome. I highly suggest you find an hour and a half to watch it.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Here Is The Whole Thing

Like BVM said, they just get it. When I lived in Portland, this girl I was seeing was apart of a club called Recess Time. She played dodgeball, capture the flag, and kickball. Each team had some hipster like clever name. Afterwards they went to the bar and drank PBR. Another game they would play was street golf. They had regular clubs but the ball was a tennis ball. The holes were empty trashcans in front of assigned bar locations. After each hole was made, a drink was downed and then on to the next hole.

Portlandia Post 3,146,765 ...

Well, what can I say. These guys hit it on the head again and again.

Friday, April 08, 2011

This Is Pretty Good

Friday Video

Of course I had to post this

Get Out Your Nerd Boner

Someone made an Elfquest trailer in order to try to drum up interest in making an actual film. Frankly, it looks like it's about to lead to softcore lesbian porn at any moment, but hey, marketing. Check it out.



So, what happened to the dudes? Or were some of those chicks supposed to be the dudes? Whatever. I hope this manages to drum up interest because I would really love to see how badly Hollywood could fuck up Elfquest. And frankly, I'm surprised they haven't made it, what with all the opportunity to bash humanity. I think the truth is, however, that the reason they haven't made an Elfquest movie is that when you break it down it's the story of little people riding around on dogs. I don't know how well that translates to live action, but maybe the Smurfs movie will open the door. La-laa La-la-la-Pfttttttt!

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Trump Blasts Viera On Today Show

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

SPOILER ALERT!

Well not really a spoiler, because I don't think anyone will be surprised to learn who the terrorist is in the new "Source Code" movie. That's correct! I just learned it's a right-winger trying to bring down the government. A muslim is suspected at first, but since not all Muslims are terrorists.... Anyway, blah blah blah. Timmothy McVeigh was a right wing terrorist as bad as any muslim terrorist and he is everywhere. Just accept it.

Not Enough Fists in the World.

Just kidding! This Jonathan Gold sounds like a real solid character. Poor bastard.

From the "Do As I Say..."

"...not as I do" files.

Yeah, Sure. I'm In.

Face it, you thought you were over the Thriller videos. Time to admit you were wrong. It's cool, you're only human.

That's Some Good Commentary

Spike man was born this way. Check it out.

Sucks to be Japan.

Here comes another one. I guess God finally got pissed of enough about all that schoolgirl tentacle rape porn to finally do something about it. I mean, I've heard they have that anyway.

Pawlenty Fail?

One member of my army of liberal friends on Facebook posted the following video of The Young Turks (whatever that is) lampooning Pawlenty for his attempts at comedy while addressing a group of college age Republicans. Pawlenty's offenses? Making Bieber, Sheen and Gaga jokes. The commenter, who himself looks to be about 40 years old and is clearly liberal, blasts Pawlenty for not knowing what college age kids would think was funny and for prodding and pleading with the crowd for reaction. Funny, all I hear is the crowd responding in a positive if not overwhelming manner. Sure they're aren't rolling in the aisles, but then I presume Pawlenty wasn't there on a comedy tour. I guess not everybody has the comedy chops of our esteemed Commander in Chief, or at least Pawnety's writers aren't as good. The whole thing is an obvious and desperate attempt to make a Republican look bad just for the sake of doing it, and frankly they end up doing a terrible job at it if you ask me. Anyway, watch this video and tell me who really fails.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

How To Piss In Public

The Walk and Pee is #5.

Oh Nerds! Please Don't Ever Change!



Sorry, but that suit never really looks like a suitcase, always looks like a slinky and that nerd will never get that 1200+ hours of his life back. Still, dude is gonna pull mass nerdette tang at Comicon.

Monday, April 04, 2011

Nazis Cartoon

Agreed


"But if Romney is the front-runner and Pawlenty the freshest face, the Republican Party will have let both its own constituents and the country down." - here

Of all the candidates we run, Pawlenty and Romney are at the bottom for me. Romneycare, which I remember him defending 4 years ago while governor, shows me that he will make too many risky compromises and Pawlenty... Well, I don't have anything bad to say about him other than he has got to be the biggest goober I've seen come out of the GOP.

Jindal anyone

I like Christie, Bolton is a fucking badass and Paul I haven't really followed. Honestly I am sorta pulling for the hot librarian tag team. Palin/Bachmann. The muslim world would give up their weapons just out of pure lust. "72 virgins in heaven? Bah, give me a piece of that!!!"


Update: Paul Ryan says some nice things, but are they realistic?

Subtle.

Sunday, April 03, 2011

1 Out Of 110 Diagnosed With Autism?

Just heard Austismspeaks give that number on the T.V. Really? Am I being cruel for calling major bullshit on that? The commercial even says that it's a 600% increase. It's as if they also don't believe in that number.

Creating The New Upper-Class

Back door communism requires a ruling class. The ruling class require our money. here

What Could Go Wrong?

I see a solution that involves turning Chicheley Hall into an insane asylum. Close the doors now, never let these people back out...

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Holy Downhill Biking Batman!

The 'R' Word

Since there's been trouble on this blog with the 'R' word in the past, I thought I would post this Colbert interview with the CEO of the Special Olympics. It's worth watching just for Colbert's PSA at the end.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Zombie Time Does It Again

One of the best zombie articles you'll ever read. I guarantee it!

I Have A Little Game For You To Play

Go to rottentomatoes.com and look up movies. Start by looking up political movies to ones that have political undertones and then compare reviews. I have found that most movies loved by the collective are also loved by movie critics, but not so much by the audience and vice versa. Here are a few obvious ones right off the bat. I tried to look for ones that had a lot of participants giving audience reviews.

  1. Fahrenheit 911

  2. Jesus Camp

  3. An Inconvenient Truth
For the other side one only has to look up Mel Gibson movies. (Not that he represents conservatism but a lot people associate him with conservatives.)

  1. The Patriot

  2. Passion of the Christ (and to prove that the audience isn't just a bunch of bible thumpers I'll throw in Last Temptation of Christ as well)

  3. Apocalypto
I have done this with movies that I thought were political just under the surface such as "Unstoppable" and "300" and found both results interesting. If you need further proof that the audience knows best, I'll point to one that isn't political as a throwaway.

Gayer Than Gay Porn

Monday, March 28, 2011

Anyone Watch The President Speak?

OK, let me start off by saying this. Our objective in Libya is not for humanitarian reasons like the president said it was. I don't believe it is for one second and I don't think Obama believes it either. The objective is to rid Gaddafi by taking advantage of an uprising. It's one of those once in a lifetime opportunities and Obama took it. Although in a half assed non-committal sorta way (and maybe even while kicking and screaming). Saying that The U.S. is handing operations to NATO is the same as saying The U.S. is handing operations to The U.S. When he says things like, "We're fighting for civilians" or "We're letting others take the lead" really makes him sound wishy-washy. He needs to own his decision. Unless, of course, he regrets it. In that case, he isn't wishy-washy. He's afraid. Which is a bummer. I really am goiong to give him the benefit of the doubt here. If Gaddafi eats it, I will have just a tad more respect for Obama.

I Do Not Disagree With Obama's Libya Decision

I thought it a bit late, but that doesn't seem to matter anymore since the rebels are starting to turn it around. What I take exception to is the total double standard. Apparently the collective doesn't hate war or policing the world or war abuses (like the latest kill team in afghanistan which is getting 1/10 the coverage as Abu Graib) at all. They hate conservatives. Namely christian conservatives. It was bad enough that Bush was a Republican, but a bible thumper too?
A Dumb War After September 11th, after witnessing the carnage and destruction, the dust and the tears, I supported this Administration’s pledge to hunt down and root out those who would slaughter innocents in the name of intolerance, and I would willingly take up arms myself to prevent such a tragedy from happening again. I don’t oppose all wars. And I know that in this crowd today, there is no shortage of patriots, or of patriotism. What I am opposed to is a dumb war. What I am opposed to is a rash war. What I am opposed to is the cynical attempt by Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz and other arm-chair, weekend warriors in this Administration to shove their own ideological agendas down our throats, irrespective of the costs in lives lost and in hardships borne. What I am opposed to is the attempt by political hacks like Karl Rove to distract us from a rise in the uninsured, a rise in the poverty rate, a drop in the median income — to distract us from corporate scandals and a stock market that has just gone through the worst month since the Great Depression. That’s what I’m opposed to. A dumb war. A rash war. A war based not on reason but on passion, not on principle but on politics. Now let me be clear — I suffer no illusions about Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal man. A ruthless man. A man who butchers his own people to secure his own power. He has repeatedly defied UN resolutions, thwarted UN inspection teams, developed chemical and biological weapons, and coveted nuclear capacity. He’s a bad guy. The world, and the Iraqi people, would be better off without him. But I also know that Saddam poses no imminent and direct threat to the United States, or to his neighbors, that the Iraqi economy is in shambles, that the Iraqi military a fraction of its former strength, and that in concert with the international community he can be contained until, in the way of all petty dictators, he falls away into the dustbin of history… …I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without strong international support will only fan the flames of the Middle East, and encourage the worst, rather than best, impulses of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruitment arm of al-Qaeda. I am not opposed to all wars. I’m opposed to dumb wars.
That was a speech given by Obama back in 2002 when America was discussing for what would be over a year whether or not to invade Iraq. A time when Bush got congressional approval and a time when Iraq had been issued up to 18 U.N. resolutions. None of which happened in Libya and yet the collective is painfully quiet. I am a little sick about it. In fact my hatred for the collective has turned into, ummm, more hatred. If there is anyone from the collective that will finally sympathize with Bush it will only be Obama, but in quiet and behind closed doors.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Death Train

The only thing this train can't kill are the tired cliches.

I just watched Unstoppable last night. Meh... moments.
But as I was watching I realized the movie isn't about stopping a run-away train at all. It's about stopping corporate fat cats who make stupid decisions from their cell phones on golf courses and worrying about the bottom line.
But don't let the title confuse you. Armed with a man forced into early retirement in order to cut costs (Denzel Washingto), a rookie (Chris Pine), a federal bureaucrat, a cowboy hippy and a woman, the Death Train (corporate assholes) is in fact, stopped. Washington keeps his job, Pine gets the girl, the bureaucrat shows off his big brain, cowboy hippy becomes hero and the woman kisses Denzel. The Boss-man gets fired.
And then we all rejoice. YAY!

Fun With Dictators

Cracked has the top 5 craziest dictators. A couple, if not all, you will most certainly recognize, but you might be shocked at who didn't make the list. Here

People are Lame

Here's something I read.

Cory Casciato (From The AV Club)

"I was a superfan of Robert Heinlein (and yes, I know this makes me a giant, irredeemable nerd) growing up, so my first viewing of Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Troopers adaptation filled me with incoherent nerd rage. Where was the powered armor? Why was everyone so bland and white? What the hell was going on, and why did this Dutch bastard ruin my second-favorite book ever!?! Years later, I came back to the movie after several friends recommended I give it another shot, and I found, much to my surprise and delight, that it was a brilliant deconstruction of the fascist ideology that existed just under the surface of the novel (and modern society…), full of sly, winking humor and cutting social commentary, not to mention some great action setpieces and kick-ass CGI bugs. The fact that it can also now be seen as a darkly prophetic look at the mentality behind the war on terror is just the cherry on top. (Oh, and the book? Not nearly as good as I thought as a kid.)"

Translation: I used to be a dumb kid. Now I'm a bitchin' Liberal!

Just stay away from Heinlein pinkoes!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Dear Lord.

Please let this just be some made up Sun bullshit. Otherwise, I have no words.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Socialists Say The Darndest Things To Stay In Power

If you're a socialist creep and are having a hard time proving that capitalism destroys in the real world then you might as well point to a fictitous one.
Here

Busy Bodies...

So this gal moves to SF's SOMA (South of Market) district in 2007. That area is loaded with clubs. She starts complaining about the noise and the city temporarily revokes a club's liquor license as punishment.

The club is tired of it, so they post the gal's name and address above the city's sign explaining that the liquor license is temporarily revoked.

I squarely side with the club on this one. This is not the first time people have moved to SF and then gotten clubs and events shut down due to noise complaints.

You have to ask: Where the hell did you think you were moving to? The countryside????

More here.

Women's Groups Have Spoken Out Against Maher

And NOW is not one of them. At least as FOX News is concerned they are not. Maybe they have contacted other news sources, but...
"The National Organization for Women (NOW) refused to comment on Maher’s use of the derogatory term. A rep told FOXNews.com it is a “known fact” that NOW does not correspond with FOX News."
Like with Maher's Koran comments gaining very little reproach from the collective, somehow I gather he is off the hook with his Dumb Twat comment as well. Mostly because he insulted Palin and not because he is one of them. NOW agrees with Maher, I gather.
Update: NOW speaks up

A Lot More Spending And A Lot More Golfing, But Still The Same

Let's face it, Obama has taken so many of Bush's policies and made him his own, it's hard for me to criticize. Other than the health care plan Obama and the Dems cooked up, there doesn't seem to be that much of a difference. I could point to the trillion dollar stimulus, but then again Bush had 770 billion dollar TARP before he left office. And though reports are saying the banks have paid most of it back, I can't really say it was any different than Obama's, can I?
With Guatanamo, troops in Iraq, troop surge in Afghanistan, Bush tax cuts and now Libya (eventhough Obama stepped on his dick before finally getting in there. Hmmm, I wonder what it would have been like if he committed when the rebels were control). He is the same guy. Hopey-changey became exactly-samey. I even heard that Obama has own version of No Child Left Behind. Glorious!

Pole Dancing For Jesus

Monday, March 21, 2011

Hey, I've Got An Idea

Why don't we invite Israel to become our 51st state. I'm serious. It would do wonders for establishing a military presence in the middle east and we won't have to be blamed for picking favorites anymore. We can say, "of course we support Israel. They're Americans." Who's with me?

Obama Jokes Not Allowed

Friday, March 18, 2011

Lessen Your Hangover

With an enjoyable read. The writer gives a punch right to the gut in the very first line.

"INEFFECTUAL, invisible, unable to honour pledges and now blamed for letting Gaddafi off the hook. Why Obama’s gone from ‘Yes we can’ to ‘Er, maybe we shouldn’t’..."

Awesome!

Udpate: Here's another one.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

One Of The Many Things I Didn't Know

Obama has a drilling moratorium. Duh, right? Well that's not all.

If reading about his moratorium was too boring for you
maybe you would prefer to watch a video about it.


Watch This Trailer

and tell me if you laugh once.

Also Pretty Bitchin'

Sucker Punch done with Disney characters.

This is Pretty Sweet

Picture Of The Year


Here

Have To Admit

Loved this song.

Nuclear Debate On Fox

I Don't Get It (I Mean I Sorta Get It)

Is it me or does the tone seem to be COMPLETELY different with Libya than it was with Egypt.
I don't mean the media's tone, I mean with people in general. On Facebook or in the grocery store or at work or anywhere. Everyone seems to be indifferent about the whole affair. Conan, who was doing jokes daily, has been quiet and when our pop culture reference expert is quiet we know it's not worth thinking about.

BTW: In case anyone was wondering, Ghadaffi is on the verge of completely decimating the entire Libyan rebellion and no one is really talking about it. I find it sorta odd.

I think I know the reason too.
People look at the Egyptian rebellion as Gandhiesque. Peaceful. A peaceful uprising where students and tweeters and facebookers and shopworkers and whomever fits the mold rose up and disposed of a dictator American puppet. That and it only took a week.
Libya has become too bloody, too time consuming and too much work. The only way the rebellion will win this is if America or its allies get involved and we know that isn't going to happen.

But let's just say we did get involved. Oh man would that piss people off on Facebook.
All those facebook requests to copy and paste "Tell Obama to let Libya fight its own battles" would go to waste. Though I know this to be true, I sorta find that odd as well.
In my whole life it seems to me the only time I've ever heard the liberal collective allowing or asking for American involvement is in Darfur.
Does anyone even know where the Fuck Darfur is or what they do? Or am I proving the media is right-wing by saying that?

UPDATE: I'm changing my position. I'm going to give people the benefit of the doubt and say Japanese nuclear reactors has become more important. Which makes sense.

Show a Little Backbone, Hollywood

I'm already pretty certain that the remake of Red Dawn is going to be one of the biggest turds in the history of cinematic counter achievement, but just to make double certain Hollywood has gone ahead and changed the bad guys from Chinese to North Korean. They don't want to offend the Chinese, because they know they can make money off of them, so they are going in and digitally altering uniforms and flags in the movie to affect the change. Doesn't that seem strange to you? Doesn't it seem just as offensive to say, "Well, if we just change the flags the problem is solved. I mean, they all look the same anyway. Maybe we should just call them Asian aliens and say they're from another planet?"

Of course, the mere idea of not wanting to piss off the commies already chaps my ass, but now they expect me to suspend my disbelief enough to accept that somehow North fucking Korea is going to take over portions of the United States of America. Of course, if they were going to do it. right now would be the time. Under the current administration they would get to the Mississippi before we even assessed the situation.

Seriously, though, the link says that they have to change the opening scene to set up the story of a North Korean invasion rather than a Chinese invasion. I'm going to go ahead and suggest a scene wher the North Koreans discover magic. Powerful magic. Ugh, remakes.

Not The Onion

Here's an article about a mother who is suing her preschool to get back her child's $19,000 tuition as well as filing a class action suit to get even more. The reason is because the school supposedly promised to ready her child for some kind of preschoolers placement test, but instead made her four year old hang out with two year olds, thereby hurting her chances of someday getting into an Ivy League College. Fucking seriously, I did not make any of that up. You need to read the article or your going to miss gems like this:

The court papers implied the school could have damaged Lucia's chances of getting into a top college, citing an article that identifies preschools as the first step to "the Ivy League."

Whoever wrote an article about how fucking preschool is a gateway to Harvard needs to be taken out back and disposed of as inhumanely as possible. Look, I know that once people have babies, their brains generally turn to mush, but how can you blame them when this is the kind of child rearing material they are exposed to in the world?

The rest of the article contains some really outstanding lawyer speak, highlighted by the assurance that the child in question will bounce back and indeed gain exceptance into an Ivy League school some day. Thank God!

P.S. People who spend $19,000 on preschool for their little angels are fucking fucks.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

If You Haven't Seen This Yet

Well now is your chance.
Make sure you read the post before viewing the video.

Oh, Thank God!

Finally, Hollywood weighs in on Wisconsin. Susan Sarandon has shown up to set everybody straight with this glorious quote:

“It’s a great opportunity that this idiot, uh, Walker has given us, to remember our strength and to remember that we are the many and they are the few,” Sarandon said. “Even though they have the wealth, we have something which is as important if not more important, and so I came just to say thank you and to remind them that we are watching, even if the media hasn’t been on top of it as much as they should have.”

Who doesn't love a well informed and constructive argument like that? I like to believe she then spent the next 20 minutes yelling "Fox lies!" at the camera.

Americans Will Soon Tire Of Obama Not Just Conservatives

I know that the majority of my respect for a politician depends on whether they have a (D) or an (R) in front of their name, but in reality, when all is said and done, politicians are politicians. They look like politicians, talk like politicians and piss us all off like politicians, but I would say many if not most work hard (I think) and have our best interests in mind (I hope)
But I'm telling you, this president doesn't even look like a politician anymore. He used to, but not anymore.
Now he looks like, I don't know, just some dude who is sitting in the most powerful chair in the world while everyone's backs are turned. Ya know, farting in the cushion, making nudie flip books and thinking to himself, "I wonder what it would be like to actually be the President. Oh the things I would accomplish. Hmmmm, one can only dream."

Fear the Media Meltdown, Not the Nuclear One

The writer of this post starts with

"Relax: this is not another Chernobyl or Three Mile Island, and I'll tell you exactly why. The only thing to fear is the sensationalist reporting that has the world panicked."

and in his update he writes this

"The frustrating part about writing on this stuff is that people don’t seem to have any middle setting between “everything is fine” and “run in circles scream and shout”. So saying “no, it’s not Chernobyl” is interpreted as “it’s nothing.”

So let’s go ahead and make this clear: no, it’s still not Chernobyl. But no, it’s not nothing."

It's a long read, but if you are interested in this nuclear explosion it's worth it

Boobs Can Kill

You Gotta Love the News

So, I'm watching the local news here in San Diego and the anchor goes on and on about radiation levels being reported on US ships deployed to assist in Japan. There are rumors of iodine pills and chemical baths. Just your basic, "Everybody must freak out!," speculation. They finally get a sailor from the Ronald Reagan on the line and he completely shoots down everything they've been "reporting." No iodine pills. Soap and water. Radiation levels comparable to spending a month living in the desert. Basically, nothing to see here, nobody's even concerned with any of the readings they've had so far. Ten minutes later, the local news is right back to reporting rumors of iodine pills and chemical baths. And then they turn around and say that people here in America are overreacting to the radiation threat and buying up all the iodine pills in the local CVS. Gee, I wonder what would make them freak out like that? Way to go, news! Fearmongering the ratings up since the dawn of ratings.

Update: Nevermind, I get it now.

Monday, March 14, 2011

New Word Of The Day

what·ev·er   /ʰwʌtˈɛvər, ʰwɒt-, ʰwət-, wʌt-, wɒt-, wət-/ Show Spelled
[hwuht-ev-er, hwot-, hwuht-, wuht-, wot-, wuht-] Show IPA

–pronoun
1. anything that (usually used in relative clauses): Whatever you say is all right with me.
2. (used relatively to indicate a quantity of a specified or implied antecedent): Take whatever you like of these.
3. no matter what: Do it, whatever happens.
4. any or any one of a number of things whether specifically known or not: papers, magazines, or whatever.
5. what (used interrogatively): Whatever do you mean?
–adjective
6. in any amount; to any extent: whatever merit the work has.
7. no matter what: whatever rebuffs he might receive.
8. being what or who it may be: Whatever the reason, he refuses to go.
9. of any kind (used as an intensifier following the noun or pronoun it modifies): any person whatever.
–interjection
10. (used to indicate indifference to a state of affairs, situation, previous statement, etc.) 10. (used to indicate indifference to a state of affairs, situation, previous statement, etc.)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Demagogues

Here is another definition

1.A political leader who seeks support by appealing to popular desires and prejudices rather than by using rational argument

2.(in ancient Greece and Rome) A leader or orator who espoused the cause of the common people

I Can't Believe I'm Linking A Bill Maher Interview

Bill Maher interviews Muslim congressman, Keith Ellison.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Shell Art is Over

Way to Ruin it for Everybody, Guy

Idiot teen jumps off Golden Gate Bridge during field trip and lives. In related news, there will probably never be another field trip to the Golden Gate Bridge or any other bridge in the US. Or anywhere else a teen might do something stupid. So, basically, no more field trips. Seriously, watch where the media will go with this.

Word of the Day

dem·a·gogue

noun

1. a person, especially an orator or political leader, who gains power and popularity by arousing the emotions, passions, and prejudices of the people.

2. (in ancient times) a leader of the people.

verb (used with object)

3. to treat or manipulate (a political issue) in the manner of a demagogue; obscure or distort with emotionalism, prejudice, etc.

verb (used without object)

4. to speak or act like a demagogue.

More Stuff That Sucks

So, I've already called out Queens of the Stone Age here for their boring, droning version of rock music that makes me car sick when I hear more than a couple of minutes of it at a time. Well, now it's time to stir the pot a little more.

Today, I'm looking at Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright, or as i like to call them, the Broken Lizard of England. These dudes are the masters of the swing and miss in my book. High concept meets low delivery.

Shawn of the Dead? Great idea. Where are the laughs? Killing zombies with LPs while riffing on the bands? Meh. Hiding out in a pub during the zombie apocalypse? What dedicated nerd over 21 hasn't thought of that? If you're going to play the zombie apocalypse for laughs, you got to have jokes and not just funny ideas.

Hot Fuzz? Pretty much the same. Clever ideas with no real payoff. Ooooh, the old people are foul mouthed gun toting criminals! Hilarious.

Run, Fatboy Run? Never saw it.

And now we have Paul. The alien is a stoner! Nuff said.

The Broken Lizard crew does the same thing, but at least they cater to my refined sensibilities with lots of gratuituos boobs, so they remain at least partially relevant in my opinion.

So there it is. These guys suck. I'm sorry if you didn't already know. And I'm sorry if you disagree, but at least I left Ricky Gervais alone. For now.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Boys Will Be Boys

Wow!

The Blindside

So, I saw the movie The Blinside yesterday. I hadn't really ever cared to see it before, but I was laid up sick and it was On Demand, so I figured, "Why not?" I mean, wasn't his an Academy Award Nominee. Didn't Sandra Bullock win Best Actress? How bad could this thing be?

Ugh, what a glorified after school special! I know this movie was based on a true story, but the artistic license here is pretty obvious. This movie contains some of the most offensive overuse of outrageous stereotyping I've ever seen. And as someone who's pretty okay with stereotyping as a whole, that's saying a lot. This film panders to white guilt in a way that makes Crash look wishy-washy in it's messaging.

And hey, Hollywood, if you're going to insist on casting Miss Congeniality in a role where she has to speak in a thick southern accent for two hours, be prepared for me to assume your movie is a some kind of ridiculous family comedy. I kept expecting a Saint Bernard to kick a game winning field goal.

By all means, though, if you love annoying child actors go see The Blindside right now, because they found the most annoying one. Ever. Two thumbs down and Hollywood can eat a dick.

Pretty Funny.

I finally caught an episode of Portlandia the other night. This was part of one of the skits. the whole thing was pretty funny.

Friday, March 04, 2011

Regret Your Life.

Seriously, if you were a student in college right now you'd be balls deep in live dildo shows and Chet Haze performances.



Chet Haze, yo! Your college experience is invalid.