Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Show a Little Backbone, Hollywood

I'm already pretty certain that the remake of Red Dawn is going to be one of the biggest turds in the history of cinematic counter achievement, but just to make double certain Hollywood has gone ahead and changed the bad guys from Chinese to North Korean. They don't want to offend the Chinese, because they know they can make money off of them, so they are going in and digitally altering uniforms and flags in the movie to affect the change. Doesn't that seem strange to you? Doesn't it seem just as offensive to say, "Well, if we just change the flags the problem is solved. I mean, they all look the same anyway. Maybe we should just call them Asian aliens and say they're from another planet?"

Of course, the mere idea of not wanting to piss off the commies already chaps my ass, but now they expect me to suspend my disbelief enough to accept that somehow North fucking Korea is going to take over portions of the United States of America. Of course, if they were going to do it. right now would be the time. Under the current administration they would get to the Mississippi before we even assessed the situation.

Seriously, though, the link says that they have to change the opening scene to set up the story of a North Korean invasion rather than a Chinese invasion. I'm going to go ahead and suggest a scene wher the North Koreans discover magic. Powerful magic. Ugh, remakes.

4 comments:

Blogust said...

Ok, how many people saw the original in the theater? 2 maybe 3 people? It seems to me that HBO gave that movie life.
And so what I find shocking is that MGM assumes this remake will sell enough tickets for people to even notice who is in the movie.

Maximum Colossus said...

Red Dawn was the 20th grossing movie the year it came out and the first film to be released as PG-13 which gives it some notoriety. But whether it got it's popularity through the theatre or HBO or VHS, it is an awefully well known movie from that era, so it doesn't surprise me in the least that MGM would try to cash in on the name recognition.

Maximum Colossus said...

And it was 1984, which makes it a little before our time for such films. I remember my brother and his friends seeing it in theatres and being pretty stoked on it.

Blogust said...

Oh.
I saw it again about two years ago and it was alright. Totally outdated, but had it's moments. Though the Chinese would have been a good enemy (eventhough I think they were our allies in the original which is odd) A Venezuelan, North Korean, Syrian, Bolivian, Cuban, Pakistanian, Libyan, Iranian ground force funded by Russia, China and France would be way better.