If They Were Serious About Making Farting A Crime...

They would have said it leads to global warming.
Oh well, still a very funny read.

This One Is Going Around

This One Is For Blogust

:-)

Holy Crap

And with Russian over dub!

GREAT NEWS!!!

Muslim birth rate is shrinking!!!
I'm calling for some Prima Nocta a la Longshanks from Braveheart. "If we can't get them out, we can breed them out"
Haha Just Kidding!
I have mad respect for muslims so please don't bomb me!

Benny Hinn - Lord Sith

After Watching How The Japanese Treat The Happy Meal Toy

I am now convinced that SF doesn't hate fatty food, they hate childrens laughter.

Some Things are Too Important not to Talk About

Here is some in depth analysis of the competitors in Animal Planet's upcoming Puppy Bowl.

Good Enough To Watch Twice

Love My Life As A Dickhead

Soda Pot

I post this not only because Canna Cola seems intriguing to me, but because there is a line in the article I think is rather astute.

"Yet, Butler is a partner in a company that is poised to move aggressively in a market that could one day be enormously popular by combining pot with soda pop, two products widely seen as scourges by many Americans -- though those upset by one tend to be approving or indifferent to the other."

Wow! That makes tons of sense and I don't know why.

Jay Cutler Shows The World He Is Giant Pussy

Allowing football to still make sense to me.

Suck It, Socket!

This is like a more violent version of the chimp/frog video.



Not it the eyes!

Swanson Pyramid of Greatness

If you have not watched Parks & Recreation, then you have not been introduced to Ron Swanson. If you do not know Ron Swanson , then you are missing out on glorious gems like this:



Ron Swanson is simply the best character on TV right now.

Of Course Reagan Was Senile

So Reagan's kid and Leslie Stahl are selling books saying that Reagan was senile. Well, that's sure to sell more copies than any book telling people that Reagan was awesome. By the way, if Leslie Stahl-a fucking reporter-saw Reagan losing his marbles and didn't report on it at the time, doesn't that make her complicit or, at the very least, the shittiest reporter ever? Fucking bullshit.

Oops, my bad. Stahl's book came out in 2000. And it took over a decade for anyone to even bother noticing. I guess Stahl's credibility ain't so great to begin with.

Now, I know that rumors of Reagan's diminished capacity have actually been going around for years, because how else are you going to denigrate the guy who handled the Soviet Union? I mean, that's not as great as socialized medicine, but it's pretty cool. Bunch o' cunts.

This is America

I posted this on Facebook the other day because watching people do stupid shit while dicking around on their cell phones is hilarious. Honestly, if this happened to me, I'd disown all of you as friends if you didn't youtube the crap out of it.



Good stuff, right?

Well, being that this is America, the woman is looking to sue the mall for not coming to her aid. Long live the new American Dream!

Best Movie Ever?

So, I was bored out of my gourd the other night and while flipping through Netflix I came across the 2008 disaster porn/epic flop "2012." I figured, "Hey, I have been known at times to share some time with the lowest common denominator," so I decided to check it out. Now keep in mind, this movie was critically reviled. I mean, everybody walking into that theatre 3 years ago knew exactly what they were getting into and yet this movie was so widely panned you'd have a hard time finding a worst of 2008 list it is not on. Well, I gotta tell you, it's bad. But it's not the worst movie I've ever seen. It's no Day After Tomorrow for crying out loud. It's an end of the world romp with tons of contrived plot devices and hammy performances, but ultimately it delivers exactly what it's supposed to deliver. The whole damn world done gets busted up!

So why was this movie immediately cast into the dustbin of cinematic failure? Why did critics and movie goers alike vomit all over this messy film that never claimed to be anything else? I have a theory, and you will be surprised to find this out. This movie was reviled for the fact that they do not claim the end of the world comes about due to man made Global Warming. Man made Global Warming has nothing to do with it. Man has nothing to do with it. In fact, the real reason for our demise actually goes against man made Global Warming and embraces a different theory as to why our planet has gone through a heating period. Also, the government escapes relatively unscathed. Sure, there's a weaselly bureaucrat, but for the most part, the government doesn't come off so bad. There is even a black president and he is super noble and all that, but it just wasn't enough to save this film from all of those who were determined to see us all die for our ecological sins.

So, if you feel like turning off your brain for a couple of hours and watching shit blow up, feel free to check this movie out without worrying too much about Holly wood calling you an ass hole for once. You might hate this movie, but at least you'll hate it for the right reasons. I mean, it's not that good.

Couple Angry After Darwin Award Attempt Fails

Well, that would have been my headline to this.

The rescuers should have just let nature take its course if you ask me. Yeah, I'm a jerk.

Ricky Gervais: Most Awesome Person In Hollywood.

More here.

My goodness, the nuts in Hollywood actually think they're not nuts?

Thanks to Ms. Boom for the link.

No edits at this link.

I Was Wrong

the newer misfits are way better

Update: Jenny McCarthy Even Stupider Than First Believed

Jenny McCarthy refuses to back down on her support of the study that said vaccinations are related to cases of autism. That would be the study where 10 of the original 13 contributors have removed their names of the study and where the main guy was found to be developing his own competing vaccines and taking money from a lawyer who was filing a class action lawsuit against the makers of the vaccinations being used at the time. Also, pretty much everybody in the medical community is saying this study looks pretty fishy, what with several of the children in the case studies reportedly showing signs of autism before they were even vaccinated. But hey, you stick to your guns, Jenny. You can change the world!

Sometimes Funny is Just Funny.

This is funny.

Think of the Children!

Sledding banned in some place or other. Is this a case of an overprotective community overreacting to a couple of broken bones or is this a case of frivolous lawsuits against a town forcing them to shut down an enjoyable pastime? Who knows, anymore, but outlaw the frivolous lawsuits before you outlaw the sledding and see what happens.

As for the claim that sleds being faster than they used to be causing the problems, I gotta call bullshit. I'm sure that sled technology has improved over the years, but it's not like they have rocket boosters in them these days. I mean, are they Acme sleds? People have always gotten hurt in sledding ACCIDENTS, they just didn't have a hundred lawyers standing around waiting to get them theirs after it happened. I've said it before and I'll say it again, lawyers have done away with accidents in our society and we all quite literally pay for it every day.

Best Fails of 2010

I guess 'fail' is pretty passe, but who cares, this stuff is funny and painful all at once.

Is This For Real?

Or is it staged? It seems fishy to me that the man holding the camera goes back and forth between the street performer and the man talking on the phone. Like he knew something was coming.

OK, This is Pretty Funny

Start Your Monday Out Right

Most people said Saturday Night Live sucked as usual this weekend, but this is pretty great, if you ask me.

Jenny McCarthy is Stupid

Here's Hot Air's piece about the vaccination study that got people like Jenny McCarthy all up in the air about autism coming from Chicken Pox vaccines or whatever. Now, we've known for a couple of years now that this study was bullshit and the guy who did it took money from lawyers who wanted to sue pharma companies for gazillions of dollars. What's interesting about this latest development is interesting because actual doctors are coming out and saying the study was crap. This morning I saw many testimonials on the news from doctors not only denouncing this study, but pointing out that peer reviewed journals were not necessarily beyond scrutiny and that anyone determined enough could get bogus information through peer review. This is interesting to me because I've had many very serious Global Warming alarmists throw peer reviewed bullshit in my face and poo poo any attempt I made to question it as though I were some mindless cretin. Well, fuck those ass holes!

Hey Blogust!

Are you trying to tell me this sort of thing didn't occur naturally?



I hope that in the future all dogs are parkour dogs!

I Can't Not Post This

So, uh, is that a thing?

Does this qualify as using tools?

Frogs. Nature's pocket pussy.

That frog was asking for it.

If the frog had been doing that to the monkey, nobody would care.

Prepare to Feel Stupid, Blogust

Over the weekend, our esteemed founder Blogust and I had our bajillionth discussion regarding the existence of extraterrestrial life. He misguidedly believes that there are no such things as flying saucers and little green men, because he is a moron (no offense, Blogust). Well, prepare to feel like a dumbass, because none other than the chosen one himself, Barack Hussein Obama, is about to spill the beans about our Martian benefactors. In your face, Blogust! Pwned!

The long and short of the article is that Obama is supposed to make some sort of offhand remark regarding alien contact in the next month or so that is to going to touch off a two to three year plan to divulge the truth about Earth contact with alien civilizations over the last 60 years.

Also, the aliens are going to clean up our atmosphere for us, which is pretty sweet. Sure, they're probably going to insist on enslaving most of the human race (the Dems will call it job creation) and wiping out the rest of us in return, but it's a small price to pay to be rid of the threat of Garotzuva if you ask me. I'm going to go home and fire some aerosol cans into the atmosphere to celebrate!

How Sad.

It appears Jane's Addiction is just going to keep on going until I can't take it anymore. Ha! The joke's on Perry Ferrell, though. I already can't take it anymore. Seriously, check out the series Married to Rock with his wife (who is apparently singing with the modern version of Jane's Addiction) and three other ditsy groupies turned rock star wives and girlfriends. Ferrell is featured quite a bit and it shatters any illusions you may have ever had that he or anything he's ever spawned was ever truly that interesting. Instead, give a 'musics and lyrics by' credit to heroine and let's get the Hell outta this place!

Well Done

Sometimes I can enjoy John Leibowitz's show.


San Francisco's Happy Meal Ban

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
www.thedailyshow.com
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Red Dawn Remake has a Cast

I can't really say it any better than this blogger did.

Surprised It Took This Long

Twain gets censored for the politically correct world. And the award for most completely missing the point statement of the year so far?

“Race matters in these books,” Gribben told PW.

And what matters the most is that we bury the past so we're sure not to repeat it, right? Isn't that how it works? The future terrifies me.

2010 Is The Worst Year Ever

Says Dave Barry
This article summed up the year in the only way I could understand.
Bless you, Dave Barry

Facepalm...

Ugh. Every once in a while I want the "God, save me from your followers" bumper sticker. This is one of those times.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/

Happy New Year, Blogusties!

Hope 2011 is great for everyone! Miss Boom and I will sure have an interesting year with our first cub popping out in a couple months. If we get crankier than ususal, you'll know why. :-)

On the politically nerdy front, it will be interesting to see how the change of hands in Congress plays out. I sure hope that on Wednesday (the first day of the new Congress) that I don't see a bunch of children (literal) playing on the podium like the last Congress' first day. That was quite an omen.

On the totally nerdy front, I give you this: