I Want...

...This!!!

First Human Remains Found In Israel

400,000 year old remains were found in Israel which is older than the 200,000 year old remains found in Africa.
I find this fascinating.
The Garden of Eden was in or nearby Israel. Not to say this would disprove evolution, because it wouldn't. But it does make for interesting arguing.

May I Make a Suggestion?

Check out the film Exit Through the Gift Shop. It's a highly entertaining documentary on the rise of street art.

I'm Putting in My Resume

I've decided that since all the writers of The Walking Dead were fired, I'd go ahead and throw my writing hat into the ring. Here's some of what I've come up with. Let me know what you think.

"You don't see zombies worrying about who marries who based on sexual preference."

"There are no rich or poor zombies. All zombies are equal. We could learn a lot from them."

"Look out! Zombie!"

"If these zombies don't kill us, surely Global Warming will."

"I think we'll finally be safe here inside the walls of Gitmo. Who'd have thought such a horrible place could redeem itself like this?"

"George Bush and I created these zombies to fight Al Qaeda! How could we have been so foolish?!"

"Madame President, the zombies have breached the bunker!"

"Somebody get me outta this crazy zombie apocalypse!"

So Close!

If not for the strange inclusion of the Julian Assange segment (which I get, but am not sure it applies to the overall theme of the piece) this would probably be the best thing I read all year.

Sometimes I like Ann

and sometimes I don't.
This time I don't

Her argument is childish bordering on bigotry. For me, I don't know what the right answer is to DADT. I fear that since it's an all volunteer military it might turn off some enlistments if there is an open gay policy, but I also don't think the military isn't going to be "gayer" because I don't think gays will be running to the recruitment office to sign up now that it's open.
But one thing I do fear the most is that if a gay soldier is passed up for promotion for whatever reason, complaints will be filed for discrimination. You know that will happen.

Video Christmas Eve Friday

First from Elton John

The Squeeze

And the best Christmas song here brought to you by XTC

I Never Heard About This Man Before

And I applaud a movie that brings his story to light.
But I know in the eyes of the haters that while the misdeeds of a few priests casts a dark shadow over the entire catholic church, the goodness of this priest will only be seen as a goodly man who just so happens to be a priest.
For the record, if a muslim cleric/preacher/Imam were to show a similar story (not that I am saying there isn't. I just haven't heard of one yet, but I do welcome it) I would be the first to applaud him and maybe even have a little hope for the cult of Islam.

The Onion Strikes Again!

My mistake, this article about a Toy-guns-for-toys exchange appears to be legit. And thank God somebody's doing something about whatever the problem here is. Let's comb the article and see if we can't figure this shit out.

Yesterday, younger children ran through a rubber obstacle course while officials told the older children the story of a 14-year-old boy who police nearly shot after they confused his air pistol with a real gun.

Way to go, cops. The best you could come up with is a story where a kid was almost shot while brandishing a toy gun? The media, after school specials and primetime courtroom dramas have led me to believe there is no shortage of incidents where cops are gunning down innocent kids with bright orange squirt guns. At the very least you could bust out the scene from Die Hard where the Twinkie loving fat cop from Family Matters talks about shooting a kid. Just weak.

Hall said she had no regrets. The 26-year-old mother of six said she has been trying to wean her only son off toy guns for years. In kindergarten, he brought a pop gun to school and shot at a classmate when the child refused to return his toy truck.

Oh, now I get it. The real danger is that if your 5 year-old carries a toy gun, our overreactive nanny society will have them expelled from school or taken away from you. Well, that is a grave set of circumstances. Thanks a lot, Columbine. I guess those kids really did leave their mark on the world. Mission accomplished! Have we built a memorial to Klebold and Harris yet for all the apparent good their actions have ultimately achieved? Long overdue.

“I tell them that this is for a good cause,’’ she said.

And that good cause again? Are they taking all that chewed up toy gun plastic and building jungle gyms for third world orphans of the American War on Terror? Or is this just another case of ignorant parents saying what they think sounds right when the media jams a recorder in their face? But hey, if just one child isn't almost shot by police, it's worth it. Merry Christmas!

Cities Be Bankruptin'

Here's a list of US cities on the verge of bankruptcy. Way to own that shit, California! The only surprise here is that these cities are on a list of could go bankrupt cities when they already appear to be bankrupt. Fuckin' semantics, I guess.

Sorry Blogust, Garotsuva is Magical!

It can be anything you want it to be. This is why I've had a big problem all along. No matter what happens, scientists twist it to fit into their ever changing climate change model. It's getting warmer? Global Warming! Colder? Also, Global Warming! More hurricanes? Global Warming! No hurricanes? Global Warming! The Great Barrier Reef is dying? Global Warming! The Great Barrier Reef is thriving? Global Warming!

The only way to disprove Global Warming is if the world somehow manages to never end. I can't wait for that.

Women Should Be Very Affraid Of Islam

Actress in Harry Potter was beatin and threatened by her father and brother (the two people in her life who I assume would want to keep her safe) for "meeting" a hindu.
But in their eyes they are keeping her safe, right? Or are they just worried about their bullshit muslim honor?
To be fair, a report came out last week that Hindu man performed an honor killing on his daughter in India for the same thing, but it's the degree at which it happens amongst muslims that I find disgusting.

Portland Is Stuck In The 90's

Garotzuva!

Just sayin...

England's Coldest December On Record

Okay, Hollywood. Sometimes You Get it Right.

So, for a while now people have been on my case to check out Showtime's good guy serial killer show, Dexter, but I just hadn't been able to bring myself to do it. There are a couple of reasons for this.

One reason is that I had a similar idea years ago and obviously the creators of Dexter illegally entered my brain and mined it for sweet ideas, kind of like whoever went ahead and started manufacturing window scrubbers that had a ball joint for cleaning the inside of your car windshield. Time for me to invest in a tinfoil hat.

Another reason is that I'm kind of a douche. You know, if I didn't discover it on my own then I'm not going to give anyone else the satisfaction of turning me onto it. It took me a long time to check out Firefly and The Wire for the exact same stupid reason.* And the way people lord the amazingness of their shows over you can be a turn off as well (See Arrested Development, a show I actually liked but never loved based solely on the people who did love it).

Anyway, I just finished the first season of Dexter and it was pretty great. It's gruesome and twisted, but the writing is great. The characters are lovingly fleshed out and the story is extremely engaging. It might start to suck as the seasons progress, but I'm hooked now and will probably ride it out to the end. You should check it out if you're looking for a show to obsess over for a while.

*Sometimes I'm right. People still sing me the praises of Mad Men, but I watched two seasons of that show and it's just plain terrible, I don't care what anybody says.

video friday

digging on this song, mo'reen, from Paul Revere right now.

Both Of The New Comic Book Movies Look Cheesy To Me

But what the hell do I know?

Scott Pilgrim vs. Michael Cera and WTF, Walking Dead?

Pilgrim's First, Of Course

I'm not going to get too heavily into it, but the movie version of Scott Pilgrim had no heart. The thing about the comics was that I was literally blown away (not literally) by how much depth and heart they had. In the movie it was apparently enough to tell the audience how everybody felt without showing anything but flashy CGI. At the end of the film I was terrified that they were going to completely change the outcome of the original story, and it probably would have made more sense in regards to the characters the filmmakers had so thinly created. It was visually and audibly stimulating, but guess what? So were all the Resident Evil movies. Also, do you think this...

Can possibly manage to come across as this?

Boooooo!

The Walking Dud

As for the Walking Dead, every time I have a conversation with anyone about this show I find myself defending it based on nothing more than the possibility it could get better and that I really just want to like it. The truth is that the pacing is terrible, the dialogue is stilted, the social agenda is unbearable and the direction is unclear. I defend this thing because I like the comic and I'm not going to do it anymore. Until this show earns it, I refuse to take it seriously.

Thanks, Hollywood. You suck.

Ugh, This is Awful.

Cartoon makes excuses for San Diego.

More Cowards

Looks like the muslim cult has made their way into the Austrian judicial system. Man fined for yodeling. Judge says it offends muslims.

Too Good To Wait For X-Mas Or Video Friday

and since Oderus Urungus appears on Red Eye on Fox news as a guest from time to time it makes me like GWAR all that more.

Hollywood Earns a Short Stay of Execution

Just as I was about to write a big rant on how Hollywood fucked up Scott Pilgrim and The Walking Dead and pretty much mangles everything I like, I ran across this mash-up of the films of 2010 and it's so cool that it softened me for now. I know that it's bullshit, but it's pretty, pretty bullshit. Enjoy.

Geez, England! What is Wrong With You? Oh, Nevermind.

When I saw this in the Daily Mail I immediately assumed it was another case of the UK bowing to Muslim pressure. My bad, it was us. Lame.

LEGO Black Ops

For anyone that's ever played a first person shooter. :-)

I Don't Know What's Going On...

But this is funny.

Not Safe For Work!

Friday Video

Preaching it.

Glorious!

Apparently, this happened on CNN. Enjoy.

Cheers, Ms. Boom!

One of my favorite moments on facebook was Ms. Boom calling out her brother on dihydrogen monoxide. Well here's to you.

Sigh

Every so often, I totally get why some people are so down on Christianity.

No Sure How Effective This Style Is...

But it sure is fun to watch. The ghetto version of Drunken Master.

Oh, Haiti! You So Crazy!

Where do I send money to aid in the witch hunt? Every little bit counts, y'know.

Liking The New Shark Look

and here is my contribution. Egypt blames it's recent shark attacks on Jew Sharks.

Hollywood Rules!

Again, no surprises here. Way to go, MTV. Sometimes I'm not surprised people want to wipe us off the face of the Earth.

I don't want to get into a big thing about how reality televsion is cited in the Bible as a sign of the End of Days or anything, but I'm almost certain it is. You know, if you believe in that sort of thing.

A Travesty!

Global Warming? Well, it's just not 'doing it' right now. No surprises here for me, but "climatologists" are stumped:

'The fact is that we can't account for the lack of warming at the moment, and it is a travesty that we can't.'

What's truly sad is that it appears these scientists have actually convinced themselves of their own righteousness when this whole thing was just supposed to be about the money.

My Official Wikileaks Post

I wasn't too interested in posting anything about wikileaks. It's fun to read some of the updates, but overall I didn't have an opinion one way or another, at least none I wanted to share...
until now.
While listening to conservative propaganda radio today I came to realize this: it's not what wikileaks exposed that is interesting, but what it hasn't exposed.
Where is the 9/11 conspiracy for the truthers?
Where is the Halliburton files telling us how Cheney drove us to war?
How about forged WMD files?
Phantom Plane in the Pentagon?
Valerie Plame?
Wiretapping?
Torture?
Nothing like that?
Huh, sorta wished I could read about "the real truth the government is keeping from us."

The Walking Dead Finale

No spoilers. It was a pretty decent episode. Had some more questionable character motivations which I hope the new writing staff can do something about in the next season, but all in all, it wasn't terrible. There is one plot point (and a terrible expository line in case you're too stupid to figure out what the writers are getting at) that is so ludicrous it will be hard for some of you not to turn off the TV (it was for me), but the episode doesn't harp on it too much, so just bear through it and you should be good. Also, they answer a question that I know has been gnawing at me for quite some time now. I can't wait to see what this show does with a full slate of episodes and new writers next season.

Keep It Simple, Stupid

I think it's remarkable how this 4 minute video evokes more emotion and glory than any movie recently released by our enlightened hollywood media.

The Conservative Celebrity List

Some good names on this list
some obvious ones
some "who the hell is that" ones
Some forgotten ones (Johnny Ramone, Stephne Tyler)
and a lot of awful ones.
Most notably, Chris Fucking Collinsworth!

Friday Video One Day Too Late

I find that Pink Floyd is one of those bands that most can tolerate. May not be everyones favorite, but the radio isn't cursed at when their music comes on. I kinda think that Pink Floyd is sort of a guys band (not meant in a faggy way) and that all dudes like them in some form or another.
Well after you watch this video I guarantee it will go from like to absolutely adore.

God-Awful Band Butchers Pink Floyd - Watch more Funny Videos

My Girl, Rosie Posie, Has Her Own Blog

Do your worst.

My Friday Vid

I enjoyed this.

Tired Ole Rant.

Okay, it's been discussed her before, but I seriously need to vent. I try very hard to stay away from the political arena on Facebook, because I know that I have an eclectic group of friends who fall into every possible category of political affiliation or non-affiliation. It amazes me how many people do not show the same courtesy. I'm sure that they believe that since we are friends, we most likely agree in our world views. In fact, I imagine some of them would cut ties with me completely if they knew the truth. And yes, it is entirely my left wing friends who do this. They are calling me stupid to my face. Rude motherfuckers.

And while we're on the subject of Facebook, I'm ready to strangle the next person who implores me to copy and paste a Facebook status for blah, blah whatever or to change my profile pick because it's gay 'cat in a sweater month' or some other such bullshit. Fucking Facebook is stupid. I hate most people enough already without it.

This Girl Is Hard Up For Another Role

Jennifer Grey says it feels "Damn Good" to beat Bristol Palin.
Reall, Jennifer, really? Does it really feel damn good to beat a chick 1/2 your age who hasn't done a damn thing except being the daughter of the one person The Left is most terrified of, or are you looking to pander to liberal hollywood?
To be fair, the host couched the question like this? "Obama and Biden defeated Palin. How do you feel about defeating a Palin?"
Just remember, all, McCain was the man running for president not Palin.
And he would have gotten killed if it weren't for Palin.
The left knows that. They are scared of this woman and so reminding everyone that she was once defeated helps them to sleep at night... but not very well.

Who Won The Soccer Final This Past Summer?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Had to think about that for second, didn't ya?

Soccer is the suckiest suckity suckfest to ever suck on ESPN. But somehow, one day we're all gonna love it. I promise!

Is This Gun Protected By The 2nd Amendment?

Cause I want one

Nerd Alert

In the interest of keeping this blog heavy on the nerdery, I thought I'd pass along that I just finished the Scott Pilgrim comics and actually found them to be surprisingly awesome. Yeah, they're definitely hipstery and whatnot, but by the end I was kind of blown away by how much I enjoyed the characters and was bummed to see them go. The content winds up being rather insightful vis a vis relationships and self awareness and all as well. Anyway, you can get them pretty cheap on Amazon, so check 'em out if you're into that sort of crap. Now I'll go ahead and watch the movie and let Michael Cera ruin the whole experience for me.

Walking Dead Writing Staff Fired!

All of them. And good riddance, I say. I agree with just about everything in the linked piece. And yeah, the phantom belt issue was extremely sloppy and annoying.

Also, where the fuck is that grenade?