Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Onion Strikes Again!

My mistake, this article about a Toy-guns-for-toys exchange appears to be legit. And thank God somebody's doing something about whatever the problem here is. Let's comb the article and see if we can't figure this shit out.

Yesterday, younger children ran through a rubber obstacle course while officials told the older children the story of a 14-year-old boy who police nearly shot after they confused his air pistol with a real gun.

Way to go, cops. The best you could come up with is a story where a kid was almost shot while brandishing a toy gun? The media, after school specials and primetime courtroom dramas have led me to believe there is no shortage of incidents where cops are gunning down innocent kids with bright orange squirt guns. At the very least you could bust out the scene from Die Hard where the Twinkie loving fat cop from Family Matters talks about shooting a kid. Just weak.

Hall said she had no regrets. The 26-year-old mother of six said she has been trying to wean her only son off toy guns for years. In kindergarten, he brought a pop gun to school and shot at a classmate when the child refused to return his toy truck.

Oh, now I get it. The real danger is that if your 5 year-old carries a toy gun, our overreactive nanny society will have them expelled from school or taken away from you. Well, that is a grave set of circumstances. Thanks a lot, Columbine. I guess those kids really did leave their mark on the world. Mission accomplished! Have we built a memorial to Klebold and Harris yet for all the apparent good their actions have ultimately achieved? Long overdue.

“I tell them that this is for a good cause,’’ she said.

And that good cause again? Are they taking all that chewed up toy gun plastic and building jungle gyms for third world orphans of the American War on Terror? Or is this just another case of ignorant parents saying what they think sounds right when the media jams a recorder in their face? But hey, if just one child isn't almost shot by police, it's worth it. Merry Christmas!


Blogust said...

With the amount of times we played with toy guns as kids I can't believe we weren't almost shot. In fact I don't think we were even almost spoken to by policemen telling us how they almost mistook our disc guns for real thing. I guess we were just lucky.

BVM said...

On the day that event took place, all parents should have brought their kids to a place that makes a lot more sense when it comes to the knowledge of guns and what they do: a shooting range.

When it comes to tough social topics like gays in the military, gay marriage, racism, etc. the left always promotes education, diversity, etc. Which is the correct thing to do.

Guns? Just destroy them. Don't ask questions, don't talk about it, don't discuss it, don't learn about them.