Quizznooooooooos!!!

Could Be My Favorite Story Ever.

Especially the part where the girl was too big for the pizza boy to fight.

Wow.

Lawyers continue to butcher common sense in the courtroom.

What?

Not The Onion?

Conundrum.

Everybody loves nature. Everybody loves children. But what happens when the two collide? Thank Tuotomekka, the children prevail!

Eight-Year Olds In Hockey Brawl, Eh.

You've got to be kidding me? This is news? First off, the video does not at all contradict what the coaches said. Secondly, that was quite the melee among the adults that the refs had to break up. All in all, I'm amazed no one was killed. Seriously, I think that violence during youth sports is a bad deal, but this is just the hysterical media losing their shit over nothing. I guess Canada has that too.

Allright, Blogust.

Maybe you'll like this one from Human Giant better:

Seriously?

Nuke these people.

Best Robot Chicken Skit Ever.

Iraqi Undead Wave To The Camera

Read here for the story.

Damn You, Garotzuva!!!!

An A-Z list of links related to Global Warming.
The warmlist.

Romanian Drag Racing

Hilarious!

Morrissey The Curmudgeon

Get out of my country you whipper snappers!!!

iFag

If you've seen the original commercial then this could be the funniest thing you see all week.

The Onion Is Back!

I haven't posted anything from The Onion News Network lately because the last several have been kind of...well, blah. They're back with a vengeance!

Poll: Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Voters Want To Get Into Bar Fight With

It's Christmas Time Again

And that means battle after battle on what to call a Christmas tree and where to put one.

Democrat representative says "no" to p.c. bullshit in Wisconin. Christmas tree should be called a Christmas tree. Good for him.

A Professors complaint removes Christmas Tree.

One more.

Update: Christmas tree is back Missouri

Without Further Adieu...

...the most pointless column ever! Gazooblio!

Justice!

Cause the call center people aren't annoying enough when you can understand what they are saying. 10 grand for hurt feelings? I should be outrageously wealthy. If this sets a precedent, I should do quite nicely with the ladies from now on.

San Francisco.

Motto: We are batshit fucking crazy.

Update To One Of MC's Sensitivity Posts

Agatha Christie's book, "Ten Little Indians", changed it's name once already for being racially insenstive. Sound familiar?
Check out original title.
Here is the original book cover.

I Guess It Does Work

I am guessing some people will say this
will cause this

Nevermind that China hasn't slowed down one bit from building their new coal burning plants. I suspect Prius drivers will pat themselves on the back

Madonna Is So Stupid

Doesn't she know that sheep are only allowed to be shaved, milked and/or eatin?

This Should Attract Customers

But doesn't this cell phone company know that airwaves are public property? Someone notify the ACLU.

Die, Jesus!

Die already!

Futurama Movie Review

From CNN. Of course the best parts are the ones with Al Gore. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but for some reason something about this review tells me the reviewer was hoping for a more direct attack at the Bush administration. Now I'm definitely going to see it. Eh, I was going to see it anyway.

Effing Wussies Running This Country.

No more spanking for you! Go sit in the corner!

But He's Got The Biggest Balls Of Them All

Here Is Your Average Red Sox Fan

Disability Awareness day at Fenway
Video

What Can I Say?

British teacher in Sudan is charged with religious crime after allowing her class full of seven-year olds to name a Teddy Bear "Mohammed." This sounds like the typical Middle Age bullshit you'd expect from these people, but don't you have to wonder if this isn't where we're headed as well? Of course, they do it in the name of religion, and we do it in the name of sensitivity.

Oh, Lord.

The Onion Maps.

Way better than Google.

Which Is The Party Of The Rich?

Let's see... Fortune 500 elites, Lawyers, and Celebrities on one side and hillbilly bible thumpers on another. hmmm... who has more money? Not much of a shocker here.


Update: For original article.

Massachusetts May Ban Spanking

I have no comment.

Interesting.

Can I smother the guy in the boat before I toss him overboard? Cause then it's a no-brainer.

Even More Sensitivity!

Perhaps the best of all.

You Want Robots?

It's what we're all thinking.

The Tree Man

This is by far the grossest thing I have ever seen.

This is what could happen if you were to ever get the Human Papilloma Virus. So stay away.

I wonder if those disgusting hand tree root things smell funny.

Just wondering

UPDATE: This is an even grosser photo. I will never complain about life again.

Here You Go, Baron

A robot not created by the military, but is still awesome.

This is a picture of him/it cooking toast... I think.

Today In Sensitivity.

Geez, relax whitey.

Ten Little Native Americans would be more "with the times."

This is obvious. I've been saying it for years. Actually, everything on this particular website rules.

Bring On "The Bugs"

If you ever have the chance, read "Starship Troopers." Totally fun and though the movie was great, the book is just that much better. In the book, not only does Johnny Rico run around kicking major Arachnoid butt, but he does it in "powered armor." Giving him super strength and the ability to leap tall buildings with a single bound. Now the U.S. military has a prototype of their own. Not much of jumper, but hey, it's a start.

Howard Is Done In Australia

The new Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, is a "pull the troops out, fight global warming" windbag who wants to revisit Kyoto. Yay!
With that, here is a video of new Prime Minister Rudd conserving energy by eating his own ear shit. Gross!

No Grog, No! Leave Tree Alone. Cold Good. Fire Bad.

Here I am working on the Friday after thanksgiving and I am bored. Man, fed-ex still hasn't arrived.
What to do, what to do. I know what to do. Complain about the Bay Area. Yay!

As some of you know, I lived in the East Bay for a couple of years. Pretty fun. Good friends, fun things to do, the usual. While I was there I was working at this Italian joint called Cugini. (I used the word "joint" just for you MC)
They did great business and it was always crowded. I think I averaged about $140.00 a night in tips alone and I only worked 4 hours a shift. Not bad, huh?
What was their secret? Three words. Location, atmosphere and gimmick. Especially gimmick.
Don't get me wrong, the food was good, but it didn't warrant the kind of money they were making. Their success lived and died by their gimmick.
Woodfire Pizzas.
People loved 'em and the owners, three brothers between the ages of 21-27, were overnight successes.

Interestingly enough, Cugini dodged a major bullet. In 2001, Berkeley passed an insane law banning log burning fireplaces from all new homes and required new restaurants using wood-burning ovens and grills to install pollution-control equipment. Fortunately, Cugini was exempt. But if they were just a 1/2 block over and 2 years younger, then I am sure the business would have never been realized. Read.

Now San Francisco, a.k.a. "the City", is trying to stick their heads even further up their own asses. Read.

Still, East Bay was cool. Never a boring day when you are living in the Bay Area.

SIDE NOTE: I wonder what the pollution is like in cities that actually use fireplaces regularly. You know where I am talking about, don't you? Somewhere other than inside California.

You Know What Else Would Cut The Use Of Disposable Chopsticks?

A Fork.

No Comment

Gore Cashing in on $6T Energy Business

Polls...

Tired of polls and tired of Americans who think things are going poorly. Maybe we should trade each nay-sayer for an illegal who wants to be here.

And what's up with only calling 1,000 people and then saying it states how the whole country feels?

Effing Hilarious.

With lots of swearing.

Best Friday Vid Ever?

I don't know about you, but I think so. If I embed it, it plays automatically, so here's the link instead.

Woohoo! U.S. Jails More Children For Life Than Any Other Country.

Okay, now I believe in harsh penalties for juvenile offenders for things like murder and rape, just as I do for adults, but I'm not exactly sure what I think about life without parole for children. Scientifically speaking, our brains supposedly do not fully form until we are in our early twenties. I know I was a real dipshit when I was a teenager, even if I thought that I did know evrything. What really kills me about this article, though, is that they quote the statistic where black kids are twenty times more likely to receive life without parole, and they give us no other pertinent information. Like, I don't know, it might be handy to know how many crimes with that punishment level are commited by black children as opposed to white children. Just curious. Of course, I'm obviously a racist who hates Mother Gaea for asking.

Why The Surge Is Working

Reason #1
Reason #2

Hey Moe, Why Don't You Shut Up?

and Spain agrees.

God Damn Consumer Geekazoids!

This guy is really pissed at the people at Jimmy Dean sausage.

Green Team!

Warning: Swearing.

Outraged Over Christmas Cards

I don't really blame the guy.

Classic.

Ugh.

I'm not saying all atheists-in fact, I know lots of solid God haters-but it wouldn't bother me one bit if someone were to shoot these particular atheists in the face.

Nappy Headed Santa

To quote one of my favorite people:

Give me a break.

A Solid Cast, If You Ask Me.

Disney's most racist characters assembled by the good folks at Cracked.com.

Friday Video

The King Khan BBQ show is playing in Portland next Tuesday. I'm psyched. Here is their new video.

This Is Pretty Funny.

Extremely Not Safe for Work language.

Interesting stories today.

#1 I believe businesses should have the right to refuse service, however, don't be surprised if I stop doing business in your establishment indefinitely.

#2 So now only black people were ever hanged til they were dead, and the noose is purely a symbol of racism? Also, you should read about Jena 6. Pretty blown out of proportion as far as racism goes.

#3 Thinking of the children. Not to mention their humorless parents.

#4 This would annoy me, but I'm very wary of legislating against annoying.

#5 This should end hilariously.

We Shall See

Finally... Maybe a movie worth watching. Lone Survivor

Lone Survivor is a true story about 4 SEALs who were ambushed in Afghanistan by 150 Taliban fighters. At the end of the battle, 100 of the 150 Taliban were killed and only one SEAL survived. It is an awesome story and I recommend reading more on this page.

Lawyers Are...Well, You Know.

Just terrible.

I Am Starting To Lose Count

Despite the lefts insistance that we are hated around the world, especially in Europe, we have yet another Pro-American leader re-elected into office. This time in Denmark.

Here Comes Niagara Falls

Was reading Pat Dollard and the Bashman posted this video. Says he was immediately zapped right between the eyes. Boy! he wasn't kidding.

Man comes home to family after serving in Afghanistan

The Truth Is Out There.

I Believe.

Update: Check this out! It reads like fan-fiction.

$6.7 Million

for the opening weekend of New Lamps for Old. Or whatever the hell its called.

Ha. Tom, Rob, and Meryl can suck it. And they did too.

This junk cost $35 Million to make. Wow, I wonder if they'll even make it back to $0. I sure hope not.

Norv Turner Can Suck A Choad

Brutal!

This one speaks for itself.

He's doing it because he CARES people. He cares about our poor little earth.

Video Friday?

OK not a video, but this song has been bouncing around my head for awhile now, so I am going to post it. Screamin' Jay Hawkins covered it in '73 and did an awesome job, but I couldn't find his version. P. McCartney's orginal version is awesome too, but S. J. Hawkins is better.

Who has more right to comment on Garotzuva?

A failed politician or the founder of the Weather Channel?

I think this is important enough to post.

The Point?

I wonder if this doctor realizes how much of a pompous ass he sounds like in this "article?" I wish I could bitch about my job in Time magazine. Maybe if I somehow made my rant "green" they'd let me.

I Think This AFP Article Has It All Wrong

This article tries to explain why Americans aren't going to these crappy ass Iraq war movies th have been released recently.
It give reasons like stories aren't very good, how it is too soon to make movies about Iraq, and how the public doesn't want to see a movie about something as unpopular as the Iraq war.
I say wrong, wrong, wrong!
There will be movies coming to the American people very soon and I believe they will be popular. And the reason they will be popular is because they will show the American people what they already know to be true. Something that these other movies have failed to show them. A key ingredient that most Americans long for and demand.
That ingredient is "America is not the bad guy."
Sounds cliche and I hope I don't sound cheesy, but it is true and Hollywood can't and wont see it. Too bad for them. I feel sorry for the Hollywood chumps. They have been granted the freedom to express themselves and this is how they chose to use it.

Will Michael Moore Make A Movie About This School Shooting?

Let Me Revise That

Today I am proud to live in Oregon, but Portland leaves me wanting.

Aaaaaand...

...I'm going to go ahead and let you all draw your own conclusions.

Fun Game.

See how quickly you can find a link to the site they're referring to.

Sad.

Environmentalists are stupid.

It's like, we need more plants, but not those plants. Those are science plants. But wait, we embrace science because it qualifies our disbelief in God and sometimes it agrees with our guilty feelings. Well, some science. I'm so confused. What does Michael Moore have to say?

I Agree With The Baron

This guy is definitely tops in my book.

No Hugging No Learning

Looking on the bright side, at least boys wont have to hold their books down to mask their boners after hugging a hotty.

Today I Am Proud To Live In Oregon

Yeah I know, I am linking to yet another article from Michelle Malkin.
Sue me.
Thankfully a measure was just blasted apart by Oregon voters that would have taxed tobacco companies to pay for child healthcare. Sound familiar? Make sure you go to the bottom of the page. There is great video I think everyone will enjoy.

Moe Chavez Set To Be Dictator, I mean, President For Life

When things like this and like this happen, I wonder what goes through the minds of people like Sean Penn, Curly Belafonte, Curly Joe Sheehan (actually not much goes through this woman's head), Kevin Spacey and the rest who are in the Chavez fan club. Do they regret the visits, the praise, the bad mouthing of our President on foreign soil? Well do they?

Hero?

Damon Wayans on The View.

Good Ole Point-Counterpoint.

Another personal favorite feature from The Onion.

Behold Dragon Force!!!

If It Were Really Torture, Would They Be Doing It On Themselves?

I mean talk about defeating your own argument.
Anyway, on to the story.
Lefty idiots try prove waterboarding is torture by... ummm... waterboarding, errr, torturing fellow wacko in the middle of the street. No news on whether they will be tried for war crimes.

So When Will We Have Them?

Mean Automakers Dash Nation's Hope For Flying Cars

The Dark Knight

New Batman movie is coming out in the summer '08. Here is a picture of Heath Ledger as the Joker.

Pretty badass I would say.

Another positive not, Katie Holmes is out ot the picture. Instead, Maggie Gyllenhaal is going to play Rachel Dawes.

If you want to learn more then check out this link.

1 Year Beach Alchohol Ban Approved.

So, they finally voted in a temporary alchohol ban, which of course they expect to become a permanent ban. The opponents will now collect signatures and demand a public vote where citizens will show our councilmen once again that they do not accurately represent their constituents, blah blah blah. Democracy is awesome.

The New Facism Is Here

And its god is Gore. Remember, the Nazis were a socialist party.

I rarely tune in to NBC since they are so overboard to the left. Every once in a while I'll watch Conan, but that's it.

Please make it stop, please.

Okay, People. Settle Down.

Let me go on record as saying I do not condone or promote whaling or sharking, but that certainly doesn't mean that I don't want this kick-ass shark fishing boat toy with harpoon and giant shark. That woman is crazy, as is the woman who says this toy could have "major ramifications" on maritime blah blah blah. Seriously lady, I'm not Suckerman, and that toy was awesome. I think the kids will be okay. If you're that worried, though, here's some other ideas for you.

Friday Vid.

This is my favorite nature video ever.

Video: Samhain

Samhain (old irish: pronounced sah-win) Is the word for November in Gaelic languages.
The Festival of Samhain is a celebration of the end of the harvest season in Gaelic culture, and is
generally regarded as 'The Celtic New Year'

The same word was used for a month in the ancient Celtic calendar, in particular the first three nights of this month, with the festival marking the end of the summer season and the end of the harvest. A modernized version of this festival continues today in some of the traditions of the Catholic All Souls' Day, the secular Halloween, and in folk practices of Samhain itself in the Celtic Nations and the Irish and Scottish diasporas. It is also observed by various types of Neopagans.
For more on this go here.
Now for the video

Bush Unemployment Rate Bests Clinton Years

And I thought that was his Achilles heel.

Just Thought You Would Like To Know

Since the turnaround in Iraq, MSM has grown tired of it's previous war coverage and has instead, focused it's attention on the cost of the war and "torture". Thankfully, there are times when the good news pokes through.
For example“The Longest Continuous Decline In Attacks On Record”
and this video titled "Insurgents Become Cops"

Sadly, most of time good news never sees the light of day.
Like here

What Do You Think?

These are the best. I could read them all day.

Blogust's Dream Wedding.

It's Very Real

MC's post about the University of Delaware got me thinkin'. First off why is it called a UNIversity when they are all about DIversity? I've never understood that.

Let's check out some fun affirmative action progress at my alma-mater.

Notice that there are no clubs under 'E' or 'W'. I guess Europeans don't have culture, they just crack whips: No European named clubs allowed. Ok, to be fair I do remember an Italian food club.

Here's one. Just reverse the colors and see what would happen: We're so against stereotyping that we made this just for you.

'Multi' means "anyone not of European descent": Multi Cultural Center I mean, my goodness, only a center for higher education could come up with a sentence like this: "cultivate a community of informed world citizens and the concept of "a unity of differences"

We don't attend the same ceremony, we're special.

Look at all the ways we're celebrating!

I could go on, but you get the point.