Not Sure Why, But I Love This.

Off To Italy

See you cats in a couple weeks. I'm off to the homeland to hang with the family, eat great food, see amazing art, lay in the sun, maybe ride a Vespa, and garner support for Giuliani.

Ciao!

We Must Protect Bigfoot

Real article.

Futurama:

Ba-ba-ba! Monster's On.

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/this_monster_problem_is

This Is Why I Love The Onion.

They can take something like this and make it fucking awesome! I know this guy.

Oooooooo-kaaaayyyy.

CJ sent me this gem to remind me how stupid people are. Cause sometimes I totally forget.

Even Kurt Loder Gets It

Get Govt. out of healthcare.

Good! Olbermann Is A Prick

CBS dominated the 7 p.m. hour with "60 Minutes," 6.0/12. A repeat of "America's Funniest Home Videos," 3.8/7, put ABC in second. NBC aired a special edition of MSNBC's "Countdown with Keith Olbermann," scoring a 2.7/5. FOX got a 2.2/4 from "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?," and The CW trailed with a "Smallville" rerun.
Link

The Best Page In The Universe

I have read some stuff from this site before, but only in passing. Then this girl tells me over the weekend that it is a must read and so I delved in further. Have to say, it is a pretty darn entertaining page. Despite the cliche picture of him dressed up as Che.
I posted a few links to get you all started, so please check em out. I feel like MC showed me this site once before, but I am not certain. Is this true?
crappy children art
there is no 9/11 conspiracy
And his latest post: iPhone is a piece of shit

Heartwarming Video

Kidnapped Father Rescued by US Army in Baghdad.
Listen to the reaction by the family after the soldier says to the interpreter "tell them we found him."

Thanks to Pat Dollard's site

Hasbro And Paramount Can Suck It.

I can't say I didn't see this coming, but it sucks just the same. In a script being penned for a new live-action G.I. Joe movie, the Joes will no longer be an American military outfit, but rather a global military outfit. Nothing is sacred.

You Have To Wonder.

Does he?

This May Be...

...the most horrible thing I've ever seen.

Garotzuva Report.

Interesting. I believe I've seen something like that before. Crafty, Garotzuva.

Man, Soccer Is Awesome.

Guy makes JLo actually seem like Jenny from the Block.

More Human Giant

I Have No Words.

BTW, this is very profane.

Live From Congress: The Skull Fucking Bill Of 2007

Here Is Another Reason Living In The Land Of The Lawsuit Sucks!

Can't enjoy shows like this.

That's Just Great!

First the gays take the rainbow from the common man, and now the gangs take stars from the common man. I'm getting a tattoo of a mountain. Nobody will ever take my mountain, damn it! Or maybe the schools have just gone batshit crazy.

England Is Rad.

Police allowed to bust people for thinking about drinking in the UK. Everybody move there!

Wow.

Jury awards white man $150,000 in reverse-discrimination suit. Two things here. Why do they call it a "reverse" discrimination suit? And how in the world did the defendant's lawyer allow the plaintiff an all white jury?

Can You Spot The Problem?

I pulled this little gem out of the comments section on an article in the local paper about two chicks from L.A. who wrote some kind of snobby vegan diet book. I noticed a particular flaw in the person's statement. See if you can find it. I have the same problem sometime with religious zealots.

"As of yesterday, I have been vegan for 14 years. My wife has been vegan for 6 years and my son has been vegan since conception and he is 5. We have another baby on the way. I am not a hippy and I don't wear Birkenstocks. I didn't go vegan to get skinny. None of us are ashen-faced or listless and never have been.

We don't eat out alot but when we do, we have no problem finding delicious vegan food....thai, indian, italian, moroccan, vietnamese, japanese and many others. It is a personal preference to be vegan and as long as you make sure you get enough protein and vitamins and minerals, you are good to go."

America Tops The List In Cancer Survival Rates

Unless I misread you guys, I think everyone on this blog feels that Universal Healthcare would be a disaster, but it is hard to combat the idea of "Free Healthcare For All" when healthcare costs are so high.

For me, I agree with Prager on this issue. The idea of everyone getting equal coverage is just a slogan that is being slung by misguided liberals who strive for a "perfect" society. And with Sicko just being released, this issue is only going to grow in size, so it is important to arm people with better information.

I know that insurance prices are outrageous. In fact, I am dealing with high medical costs as we speak, but Universal Healthcare is just not the answer and I feel that some politicians who support this program, do it purely for political gain, while the others, are just too idealistic.

We do need to imrpove healthcare in this country, but going around with a slogan like "Free Healthcare" is stupid and wrong. You know what I feel we should do. Take the Govt. out of the Healthcare business. Let the market decide. Stop all the pointless lawsuits. Allow more doctors to open practices. Cutdown on full coverage insurance that allow people to use their coverage for skinned knees or the sniffles. Stop forcing businesses to handout healthcare to all their employees in giant healthcare package deals, which in turn drives up insurance costs. Lastly, stop paying for people who ... well ...I can't fully say it, but the idea of illegals getting healthcare does irk me a little. I just don't know what we should do with people who are hurt or sick and need attention, but can't get it because they aren't citizens. Moral Dilemma.

All in all, it wont be perfect, but I think it would be better than what we have and it will be good enough.

Anyway, I am getting long winded, you can read the article here.

Money quotes

England is on a par with Poland despite the NHS spending three times more on
health care.

and

England was the fifth worst in a league of 22 countries. Scotland came
bottom. Cancer experts blamed late diagnosis and long waiting lists.

Father Of Murder Victim Chokes The Accused

Video

Flip Flop

Remember this guy? I think the article says that he was once the "King of Clubs" in the 55 card most wanted deck. Anyway, looks like he has opted to join the good guys in exchange for Iraqi forces stop kicking his and his mens ass. Pretty big I would say.

I'm Feeling Generous.

I give this two episodes before the nation screams in pain and demands it's extinction. "Extinction." See what I did there?

Justice.

I only hope that when I kill myself during a blackout drunken escapade someone will give my parents $500,000. That's what our founding fathers and Jesus would want.

Got Off Easy.

Lock him up and throw away the key! Oh, and, uh, BURNT UMBER!!!

Japander

This site compiles American celebrities who have done Japanese commercials over the years and they are hillarious. Once you click the link , go to the top and search for your favorite celebrity by alphabet.

You All Laughed!!!

UFO footage captured in Haiti.

Some people, of course, claim this is a hoax. I, however, choose to believe we're all gonna die!

Update: This LA Times article claims to have discovered the truth behind this video, but I call bullshit because the LA Times is gay.

This Article Has Everything

Hurricane headed for Mexico's OIL industry, and Compache OIL platforms, and Mexico's NUCLEAR POWER PLANT, and Cantarell OIL field, reducing daily production by 2.7 million barrels of OIL and 2.6 billion cubic feet of NATURAL GAS, and also heading towards Tecolutla, which is an OIL industry hub, dotted with DERRICKS and PIPELINES on land and home to many of the workers who maintain seven OIL platforms a half-hour helicopter ride offshore. Isn't that horrible?

By the way, so far rich people were spared in their ritzy resorts, while vulnerable Mayan villagers were exposed to it's FULL FURY!

The Mexican President says that nobody has been killed, but the AP article is still holding out hope.

By the way, my heart does go out to those suffering during this event, but I have become so skeptical of the AP, that I can't take their article seriously.

Premature Ejaculation

Mortar blows up inside barrel while man screams "Allahu Akbar!"
And when I say "ejaculation", I am using this definition from Websters.com.
2. A sudden short exclamation, especially a brief pious utterance or prayer.

And I do find this video funny.

Silent Library Japanese Game Show

I don't know if this video is old or not, but it has certainly convinced me that Japanese people are the funniest people alive. Don't like the title though. It should be titled "Silent Frat Haze Japanese Game Show." Notice the Engrish written on all the signs.

Here's A Good One.

The litigation lottery can be a brutal mistress.

On This Day In History...

...I sort of agree with the ACLU.

I...Uhh....Er...

Oh, whatever. I'll just let you all pick your favorite part of this article.

Uhhhhhhhhhh...

Thanks College Humor?

The Front Of The Boat Fell Off

Australian politicians are slippery.

They're Remaking Death Race 2000.

Problem is, it sounds more like Running Man. Hollywood has no guts.

Soccer Is A Gateway To Racial Understanding

Courtesy of With Leather, here's a Peruvian player scoring a double header goal against South Korea in the Under-17 World Cup. Enjoy his goal celebration:

All I Have To Say Is "7"...

and The Onion rules!!!


'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

Dennis Prager

A fairly popular article, written by Dennis Prager, is circulating through the web right now. I've linked to it here. I liked it, but it definitely caters to the converted.

Which leads me to something else he has written. Want to be converted? Then answer these test questions.

Actually, I don't think that test will convert a single soul, but I needed a good tie in and so I went with it.

"It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does?"

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

Just a couple of the better quotes from the movie "Blade Runner" serving as prelude for this.

Viva La French Foreign Minister, Bernard Kouchner

The guy I stole this article from, Matt Sanchez, titles the piece "What a difference an Election Makes." Prepare yourself though, it was written by TIME magazine and its stench is laced thoughout the entire piece.

Sanchez also translates one of Kouchner's recent comments.

"Si nous avions continué à être à leur côté, nous aurions pu éviter la guerre", avait-il déclaré."

"If we stayed by their (American) side, we could have avoided this war." Bernard Kouchner

I don't know the entire meaning of this statement, because I don't speak french and the quote was ripped from this article, but if it means what I think it means, then awesome.

UPDATE: More on France and their leadership. I bet you Sarkozy would give anything to swap the Socialist party in France for American Democrats.

More Hot Israeli Women In The Military

Here.

Just About The Coolest Site Ever

Talk about a well done blog.

http://blog.modernmechanix.com/

Make sure you click on Cover Gallery in the upper left of that page.

Picture Of The Week

Goosestepping Clerics!

I Say To California: "Let's Lead The Way"

Anytime SF proposes some new legislation that they term revolutionary or progressive they make a press release that states something like "We're doing it as an example to the rest of the country in hopes that other cities follow our lead."

Well here's one that the Dems certainly don't want to lead the way in, although I see is as perfectly fair. In California right now there is a movement to equally divide up the electoral votes during the presidential election, by district. California currently has a "winner takes all" electoral vote process. Whatever party gets a majority vote gets ALL of California's electoral district votes.

Read more:

Liberally slanted CNN take.
More rounded ABC take.

I think this movement is a great idea. I want to find out how to sign that petition.

Case in point, during the last election process Arnold got all but 3 counties votes. Of the 58 CA counties only SF, LA, and Santa Cruz did not vote for him. What a surprise.

This quote is golden (and others like it): "This is very fair if it's universal around the country," Sragow said. "It is patently absurd it if only takes place in certain states."

No, its not absurd Mr. Sragow. Someone has to lead the way, and I say let it be California, after all its like a motto around here.

College Professors Aren't Too Bright

Well,well,well, most Academics are Lefties. Who knew? I guess "76 percent of their donations went to Democratic candidates in the first two quarters of 2007," but that is no big deal... right? College Professors don't make very much, isn't that what we are told?

"College professors and others in the education field have contributed more money than the oil industry and drug makers, with the nearly unanimous goal of putting a Democrat in the White House," Ooops... My Bad. Maybe it is just public shool teachers, whose median income is $41,400 to $45,920 for nine months of work, who get the shaft.

I wonder how many of these "professors" receive grants, work for state funded schools and teach Liberal Arts. No reason really, just sort of curious.

Before Gore

A headline in the Nov. 2, 1922 edition of The Washington Post: "Arctic Ocean Getting Warm; Seals Vanish and Icebergs Melt."
No word on whether the article expressed any hope for the Govt. to take action or not.

Rutgers Player Sues Imus

Here.
The attorney claims

"This is a lawsuit in order to restore the good name and reputation of my
client, Kia Vaughn,"

As far as I am concerned, the opposite is happening.
Even this lawsuit seems more reasonable than Kia Vaughn's.

1998 No Longer The Hottest Year On Record

Looks like 1934 has taken 1998's place as the hottest year on record and 2006 dropped from a tie at 2nd to alone in 4th place.
Here is the list
and
Here is a post by Mark Steyn who talks about "malignant narcissism" among todays powerful nations. One of his more awesomer quotes is this one.

In the post-imperial age, powerful nations no longer have to invade and
kill. Simply by driving a Chevy Suburban, we can make the oceans rise and wipe
the distant Maldive Islands off the face of the Earth.

Three meals and a cot.

Guantanamo may be bad, but I guess it is not as bad as being free in the Middle East.

Here

Here We Go Again.

McDonalds being sued for forgetting to hold the cheese. I like how the mother and friend are suing because they risked their lives driving the guy to the hospital. Too bad they made it. I like how the lawyer says the guy took , like five different steps to make sure McDonalds didn't put the life-threatening cheese on his burger. Too bad he skipped that all important sixth step. Lift the fucking bun if cheese can kill you, ass.

la Cucaracha

I found out a couple days ago that Ween is coming out with new album called La Cucaracha. I am really excited. So how bout a little Ween for video friday.
Voodoo Lady

TV Not Yet Flaming, Only Smoldering.

GLAAD says that US TV is pretty gay, but it could be gayer. I don't know, right now with everything on summer hiatus, I am finding TV incredibly gay. I might not be using that term in the same context, however. Stupid homos. Maybe they'll luck out and the New York vaGiants will have a lot of nationally televised games this NFL season. That would gay things up quite a bit.

Carbon Bullshit

Or, umm, I guess that should be Methane Bullshit?

Anyway, here's some proof of what happens when Environmentalists start coming up with ideas: an utter mess.

Carbon offsets are the shell game of our time. A scam. An attempt to control free markets. A push for bigger Government. Facism.

Feeling guilty? Just pay money. Then some organization will take that money and "invest" it in businesses or "non-profits" that claim to be green. How did that organization get the Green label? How can you trust where the money goes once you pay it? Why don't you just invest your money in the free market yourself so that you actually see a monetary return on your investment?

Al Gore starts an investment company that invests in "green" corporations and then tours the world telling everyone that we need to make Governments put guns to peoples heads and make them pay into his new investment corporation. Neat, huh? But its OK, you are saving the planet.

Here's an interesting tidbit I figured out all on my own by reading that article. It talks about Britt Bravo who paid $10 to TerrPass to offset her 2,500 pounds of carbon she would emit during her travel across the US.

$10 for 2,500 pounds eh? Wow, what a bargain. Now she can sleep at night. Good for her and this TerraPass nonsense.

OK, remember Big Al's announcement at the Academy Awards? They were now carbon neutral? Wow, they were so big hearted that they purchased enough carbon offsets to counter 250,000 pounds of carbon! Such amazing and big hearted people!

Recall that $10 is good for 2,500 pounds of carbon. Based on that number the Academy gave a whopping total of $1000 to offset their 250,000 pound carbon footprint.

$1000??? They actually think that a $1000 donation is news worth broadcasting to the world? Well kids, it is if you are Al Gore and you have an investment company and the entire world is watching...

Take your carbon offsets and shove them up your methane hole.

Wow.

I've been to Chavez Ravine for a Dodgers game and this guy sums up the experience nicely.

"Since Dodger Stadium was built on a site not for convenience, but to displace the largest number of migrant farm workers possible, getting into and out of the parking lot can be a pain in the ass. Unless you show up six hours before the game, you will most likely miss innings one through eight trying to find a place to park. Most people leave near the second inning in order to beat the traffic. If you decide to stay until the game is over you might as well sit in your car and wait for the next game."

Truer words have never been spoken.

Hillary Clinton Is Every Girl I Have Ever Dated

When I read Hillary Clinton's quotes, I swear I am experiencing some serious deja vu. Not from what she says exactly, but from her constant back and forth change in opinion. I swear I have dated this girl before.

We all know of her back and forth position on the Iraq war, but Now she has gone nuclear.

Canadian Imperialism

Typical liberal media bias. All we hear about is American Imperialism this and American Dominance that. Well, what about Canada huh? Shouldn't they be held accountable for their actions towards a global takeover?
Geez, trying to claim sovereignty over the North Pole and right under our very noses.
WE TRUSTED YOU CANADA!

Damn Flying Rats

A British engineer is blaming pigeons for the collapse of the bridge in Minnesota. Looks like we have been outsmarted again.

Someone Better Tell Michael Moore

That there is no gun violence in Canada.

Hell Yeah!

Heroes. That's why we have a court system. For important legislation.

Flawed Argument.

Mike Vick is no worse than people who eat meat. Um, I doubt anyone would be making a big deal about Mike Vick if he had eaten the dogs after they were drowned, electrocuted, shot, punched, rolled down a hill in a barrel or beaten to death with a pillow case and a Coke can. Well, maybe they still would, but vegans are lame.

Picture Of The Week

Sweet.

Athletes are awesomely patriotic. Thanks, Deadspin.

Our Brainwashed Country.

Media pulls a twofer. Minnesota "Bridge" hero is given full college scholarship and declines opportunity to be photographed with President Bush. From no angle I saw did it look like that school bus was in as much jeopardy as the vultures in the media wanted people to believe. I wonder if this "hero" will regret his decision to turn down the President in ten years? Five?

Am I That Desensitized?

Some adult store advertises using two bikini-clad women splashing water on each other in a kiddie pool on a Sunday afternoon and some local prudes go apeshit. This just seems like an overreaction to me. How telling that the politician's first instinct is to ban it.

Western Liberal Guilt?

What's That?

Lions For Lambs

First off, I love it when Hollywood liberals tell people they are being silenced by the media, while on camera, and in front of millions of viewers.

Maximum Colossus e-mailed a movie preview over to me, directed by Robert Redford, about the War in Iraq and it doesn't look too promising. Can't wait for the Bruce Willis follow up. That is, if he ever decides to do one.

Anyway, Fuck Robert Redoford.

Matt Damon vs. Jimmy Kimmel

I am sure most of you have seen this video where Matt Damon freaks out on the Jimmy Kimmel show.

but have you seen the follow up?

Which Bees Make The Best Honey?

Boo-Bees!

Unbelievable.

Just when I thought CNN had become the lamest, most liberally driven news outlet, they go ahead and print this...and totally redeem themselves! WTF?

It's Time Once Again!

For is it real or is it The Onion?

TV is bad?

TV is good?

Jackie Mason spells it out

It starts out a little slow but it starts rolling. I dig it.

Friday Music Video

Thiller... Brought to you by a Philippines Correctional Facility. Dancing is supposed to help with rehabilitation or some shit like that.

UPDATE: Here is another one.

Only One Highlight?

The game lasts like 90 minutes and all they can come up with is one lousy highlight? I swear I just don't understand why people like this damn sport.

Oh well, at least the beat is groovy.

Iraq Wins Asian Cup

Is Sean Penn A Traitor?

Here he is hanging out with Moe Chavez. The same Moe who works with Ahmadinejad and Larry Castro, calls the President the devil and Americans Imperialists, takes private property from Venezuelans and from Foreign Companies, and ultimately wants to make himself Dictator for life. So I ask you, can Sean Penn's actions be considered treasonous?
I say yes.

Rad DUDE!

Check out the shoes upon impact!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc28zmbzRSk

Straighter!

Blogust is probably right. We should just link the Onion every day.

PBS Report

Pretty cool video.

J.K. Rowling Answers Questions

Over at the leaky cauldron.

Is This Type Of Thinking...

...the result of Socialized Medicine?

my favorite comment at the end of the article is this one.

I hope he will take the same action for people in car crashes and not treat
them either , then they will take responsibility for driving badly , and also
people who are injured as a result of alcohol related assaults , they shouldnt
go where there is a likelihood of violence, or perhaps people injured at work ,
they should be more carefull , in fact we the public should realise the nhs is
not run for our benefit but for the benefit of those like Dr Meldrum , or is it
Meldrew ?
- Brian, wiltshire

Here is a reprint of a 1960 The Freeman article. Don't know if it is trustworthy, but I sure enjoyed reading it.

Good Stuff.

Another Giants Video For The Baron

In Case You Ever Wondered.

The Real Star Of The New Simpsons Movie

That's right, it was Lisa Simpson.

Before I start I just want to say that I was going to write a review on this movie, but then I realized I am not very good at it. So here is what to expect.

1. Hillary Clinton as Itchy's running mate for the '08 presidency.

2. Green Day sinking into the polluted springfield lake after giving a speech about the environment, followed by, American Idiot playing on a church organ during Sunday Service.

3. Arnold Schwarzenegger as sitting President whose biggest line is "I was elected to lead not to read"

4. Two Male Cops kissing

5. Ralph Wiggum announcing he is gay after seeing Bart's dick. ( I am sure it is a joke against people who think you can learn to be gay, but I could be wrong)

6. NSA wiretapping

7. Oil drilling in Alaska

8. Big Brother! Big Brother! Big Brother!

9. Homer is beyond stupid and annoying, but to be fair, he does have some really funny moments.

10. Marge as doting and pious housewife who is once again fed up with Homer.

11. Intelligent Design joke. (not that I care... just expect it)

12. Bart hating his Dad and wishing to be a Flanders.

13. A plot so chaotic it felt like it was written as the movie went.

14. Most of the characters in the Simpsons world have very, very small parts, with cledus the slack jawed yokel as one of the bigger characters.

And Finally

15. Lisa Simpson. The clear star of the movie. Watch her as she pays tribute to "an inconvenient truth", goes door to door petitioning for the environment, punch out Bart Simpson, and ultimately fall in love with a little Irish Boy who cares about the environment and plays four musical instruments. It is a SE portlanders wetdream.

Overall the movie was not as smart as it pretended to be. But that is just one mans opinion.

Needless to say, I was bored.

UPDATE: Looks Like I am really in the minority on this one.

Abby Someone. Abby Who? Abby Normal.

Things like this are always pretty neat.